YuGiOh: The Abridged Series: The Fanfic
by Mrs. Ishtar III
Summary: 3 Teenage girls go to Domino City after one of them gets an Internship at Kaibacorp. MarikxOC, FlorencexOC, PharaohxOC. Based on YGOTAS, Goes by rules of YGOTAS. If it needs a higher rating please tell me.  Flames welcome. I NEED REVIEWS. COMPLETE.
1. Marik's first time

Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series: The Fanfic.

Chapter 1: Marik's First Time.

Marik: (on the phone in the bathroom) Bakura, it's me Marik.

Bakura: What do you want? It's three in the morning?

Marik: Well I have a girl over here and-

Bakura: What? YOU have a girl over? You?

Marik: Yes, if I could ask my-

Bakura: I don't believe you! Let me talk to her.

Marik: NO, BAKURA!

Girl: (Laying in Marik's bed, drunk) You ok in there, hun?

Marik: Yes, just a minute…

Bakura: Holy shit! You really do have a girl! How desperate is she?

Marik: Can I please just ask my question?

Bakura: Is she blind?

Marik: No.

Bakura: Is she mentally ill? She MUST be.

Marik: No?

Bakura: Then she must be hideous! How could YOU get a girl?

Marik: I invited her over and-

Bakura: To where? To your TOMB

Marik: I INVITED HER OVER AND SHE SAID, YES! ARE YOU FINISHED?

Bakura: All right, what is your question?

Marik: How do you have sex?

Bakura: You can't be serious.

(From outside the bathroom, no longer able to hear Bakura's voice.)

Marik: What? But I go to the bathroom with THAT! … I just don't understand why she would enjoy that in… it's not very sanitary that's all I'm saying. Alright thank you Bakura, alright goodbye.

(Marik comes out bathroom and walks over to the bed)

Marik: Sorry about that. Shall we continue?

(A bit of making out later)

Marik: I believe it's time for the sex.

Girl: Yes, I'm pretty sure that comes next. Am I your first?

Marik: Pardon me? Oh No! I've done this SEVERAL times before! I've slept with a lot of other women! Countless times!

Girl: Yeah, sure.

Marik: Alright, here comes my Millennium Rod.

(Marik Secks…)

Odion: (from outside the door) Master Marik, what's with all that racket?

Marik: Go away, Odion!

Odion: But Master…

Marik: Now!

Girl: You have a roommate?

Marik: My older brother.

Girl: Ah.

(As much time as it takes to finish later)

Marik: That… was… nice

Girl: (breathless) Uh huh…

Marik: Was it good for you?

Girl: Uh huh…

Marik: I'll be back, I need some water… do you want some?

Girl: Oh, what? Uh, no thanks.

Marik: Alright then.

(Out of the bedroom enter Odion)

Odion: Master Marik, I'm sorry for disturbing-

Marik: Nice going Odion! You almost ruined my first chance ever with a girl! Jackass!

Odion: YOU had a girl in your room? I always though that you

Marik: Why does everyone find it so hard to believe I picked up a girl? And I'm **NOT GAY** Odion!


	2. Who invited Bakura!

Chapter 2: Who Invited Bakura?

(3 Days later with Marik, he's pacing around the phone)

Marik: Should I call her first? I've never done anything like this before.

Melvin: Well Obviously! Call her Marik. You'll never get another chance. I mean you? Get a girl? It'll be 3,000 years!

Marik: Silence, no one asked you!

Marik: I mean Mako Tsunami has a better chance than

You. **I **have a better chance than-

Marik: You do not! Shut up while I'm on the phone!

(Picks up phone and dials Chloe's number)

Chloe: Hello?

Marik: (anxious voice) Hello (Clears throat) Hello, this is Marik.

Chloe: Hey Marik, things between you and your brother better?

Marik: Oh you heard that the other night? Wait, what did you hear?

Chloe: All of it. You shouldn't have lied to me about your virginity.

Marik: (Smacks his head with the phone) Yeah…

Chloe: Well enough about that, what'dya call for? Did I leave something?

Marik: No…

Melvin: You lied to her?! You DO suck at this, really.

Marik: Shove it, Melvin.

Chloe: Who's Melvin?

Marik: A… a… friend. I did call for a reason. I would like to ask you something.

Chloe: Sure what?

Marik: Uh… well… uh.

Melvin: He wants to ask out on a date!

Chloe: hmmmmm Ok. Doing anything today?

Marik: (looks at a calendar that says destroy Yugi Moto everyday but the 28th that says evil council meeting.) A few things. But it's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow.

Melvin: Except taking over the world!

Marik: Silence!

Chloe: So how about the park? At 3:00?

Marik: Excellent! I will see you there!

(Hangs up the phone enter Odion)

Marik: Ha ha! She said yes! I knew she would!

Odion: Master Marik, you asked her out? She told you yes? Why would she do- I mean, congratulations.

Marik: Silence fool! I need to think… let's see what to wear, what to wear…

(2 hours later, clothes are all over the floor, Odion is sitting on Marik's bed, bored)

Odion: Why don't you wear your regular outfit?

Marik: No, I can't just wear my NORMAL clothes on a date!

Odion: Master Marik, you're going to be late.

Marik: Silence! Wait, what time is it?

Odion: 2:50

Marik: Holy *Censored* on a *Censored* Sandwich! I have to get going, but I have to wear something nice…

Odion: *sigh* Of course, Master Marik.

Marik: (Usual outfit with a bow)

Marik: Perfect! I must be going farewell Odion. (leaves and shuts the door)

Odion: Goodbye… Douchebag.

(Marik and Chloe are walking in the park… enter Bakura)

Bakura: Hey, Marik is that you?

Chloe: Who's he? A friend of yours?

Marik: More like an insane homosexual that is in love with me.

Chloe: Ahhh, you're best friend.

Bakura: Marik, come over here!

Marik: Just ignore him.

Bakura: Don't make me come over there… you know I will!

Chloe: Oh, come on! He doesn't look that bad let's at least say hi to be polite.

Marik: If you insist. (walks over to Bakura) Hello Bakura, this is Chloe.

Bakura: That's her? She not nearly as ugly as I thought.

Chloe: Gee, thanks. You're not nearly as affable as I though.

Bakura: In fact, she's almost attractive enough for me to want to date.

Marik: Enough! (Takes Bakura aside) Excuse us a moment.

Bakura: Oh what? Is she your GIRLFRIEND? So what is it dinner and a movie?

Marik: No Bakura, I thought it would be nice to go to the park together.

Bakura: Aw! How adorable are you going to walk her home? Kiss her on the porch? Although, I'm not sure about this one she looks a bit insane.

Marik: Don't make me kill you in front of her.

Bakura: She's obviously not Japanese where's she from? How long is she in town for?

Marik: You're right. She's American. She's here for the summer with two of her friends.

Bakura: Only the summer? That's too bad. She'll never have the time to learn the complexities of children's card games.

Marik: Exactly, so let me get back over to her.

Bakura: Of course (Back over to Chloe) So Chloe is it? You must tell me what you see in this wanker.

Chloe: He seems like an alright guy. Might as well give the kid a chance, right?

Bakura: (holding back laughter) Yes, well it was nice meeting you Chloe, hopefully you'll come to your senses soon.

Chloe: Yeah, nice meeting you too. Kinda.

(Exit Bakura)

Chloe: Asshole

Marik: Exactly my point.

Chloe: Want to come over to meet my friends?

(Enter Bakura)

Bakura: Yes, let's go.


	3. Friends, Jobs, and Fast Cars

Chapter 3: Friends, jobs, and fast cars.

Marik: I don't believe you were invited.

Bakura: So are your friends as attractive as you?

Chloe. Yeah, if you find me attractive that is.

(At the apartment enter Olivia)

Chloe: Leah, Olivia, I'm back!

Ollie: From your date with- Chloe didn't me and Leah tell you not to bring gay guys back here?!

Marik: I'm not GAY!

Bakura: I'm not exactly sure what I am.

Ollie: Whatever, so this is the infamous Marik the lying virgin one night stand?

(Enter Leah)

Leah: Oh my god Chloe! You slept with a gay guy! Did you turn him straight?

Marik: I just said I wasn't gay!

Leah: So what's the less feminine one's name?

Bakura: My name is Ryo Bakura.

Marik: No one cares about who you are! Besides she was talking to me, obviously! I'm the more masculine one.

(Leah walks over and puts her hands on his shoulders.)

Leah: N-no you're this season's model of Chloe's Girly Men. You are probably the second girliest man she's ever brought home. Bakura, right? Is in fact the less feminine one. Note his lack of tank top midriffs, earrings…

(hour and a half of insults later.)

Leah: You see my point? You're borderline transvestite, Bakura isn't.

Bakura: You really think I'm manly?

Leah: Manly is a STRONG word to use in this series.

(Romeo and Juliet's love theme plays)

Bakura: What is that music? Where is it coming from? (closes eyes and music stops) (opens eyes looking directly at Leah and music starts)

Marik: What music Bakura?

Bakura: The terrible romantic music It's all sweet and loving. I can't be the only one that hears it! It's so loud.

Ollie: Nope, don't ear it. You're apparently crazy. Well girls this apartment doesn't pay for itself… off to work.

Marik: What do you do?

Chloe: Some crappy paid internship and some crappy corporation.

Ollie: It's not just some corporation! It's Kaibacorp! Under Seto Kaiba himself.

Leah: Oooh! You going to wipe his ass for him? Pick up his dry cleaning?

Chloe: you don't want to be late for your first day! I'm starting to like it out here. So don't get fired!

(Starts to push her out the door)

Ollie: Yeah it could also be that you're starting to like you're new boyfriend's Co-

(Door slams on Ollie; over at Kaibacorp Ollie opens the door to Kaiba's office.)

Kaiba: (hangs up the phone): Who are you? What are you doing here? Do I owe you money?

Ollie: No, sir. My name is Olivia, I'm your new intern. You know bring coffee, file papers…

Kaiba: Whatever, Yugi Moto learn that name if you want to survive in this company. He's

Ollie: The only duelist to ever beat you and Maxmillion Pegasus at the card game Duel Monsters: The greatest children's card game in the world. Made by the girliest man in the universe.

Kaiba: Wow, you really know your stuff. You're even American, they rarely understand the complexities of children's card games.

Ollie: I know my shit, bitch!

(proud pose.)

Kaiba: Right well I'm going to entrust my very expensive and overly compensating car to you so you can go spy on Yugi and his stupid friends.

Ollie: Oooh what's this? (steals card)

Kaiba: What's what?

Ollie: Oh nothing… well I'll be off, goodbye Mr. Kaiba.

Kaiba: That has to be the shortest day of work in the history of internship.

(Back home)

Ollie: Kaiba gave me this car, but in return I have to spy on The Yugi Moto.

Bakura: I can take you to him actually. I have friends that are acquaintances to his friends.

Marik: Ha! What friends?

Bakura: Like you're one to talk!

Marik: I have several friends!

Bakura: Fine, name some…

Marik: There's……. umm……… I have several friends!

Chloe: Sure you do hun, now let's meet this Yugi photo or what not!

(Chloe runs to the car dragging Marik)

Chloe: I call driving!

Bakura: Are you sane enough to drive?

Ollie: Not enough to drive Mr. Kaiba's very flashy overly compensating car! He entrusted me to it and I will be the ONLY one who drives it.

(Chloe pulls car keys from behind her back)

Chloe: Not while I got the keys, Biyotch!

Marik: I call shotgun!

Bakura: Oh so you can hold your girlfriend's hand? Are you going to kiss her on the cheek while she drives? That's so sweet.

(All get in the car as Bakura continues to make jokes)

Bakura: Don't you two look like the best married couple. It's almost sickening.

Leah: Here, you'll need this. (hands him a helmet.)

Bakura: what for?

Chloe: Three

Ollie: Just a hunch

Chloe: Two

Marik: What are you counting down for?

Chloe: ONE! (Floors it. Ollie and Leah are use to Chloe's driving, Bakura is scared stiff, and Marik is holding on to Chloe for dear life as she drives erratically.)

Marik: I don't want to die! Oh god please!

Chloe: Relax! You aren't going to die!

Marik: I'm sorry for being so evil! I promise if I live I'll never hurt another soul! Just god let me live! Let me live!

Chloe: Bakura, you said you knew where we were going, I need directions right about now.

Bakura: You… uh… go… Watch out for that!

Chloe: Boys honestly I got this cover-

(Car crashes)


	4. Who needs doctors when

Chapter 4: Who needs Doctors when you have, Children's Card Games!

(Screen to Yugi and his friend's they're out in the woods, somewhere)

Yugi: And I was all like "Super special awesome!"

(Everyone laughs)

Tristan: I don't get it.

(Sound of a crash)

Téa : Oooh a crash let's go see who's hurt!

(They run over to Chloe and group)

Bakura: You were right about the helmet.

Marik: I don't want to die! I'm too beautiful to die!

Bakura: Marik, calm down you're not dead!

Marik: I'm not? Victory again! Haha evil car you can not destroy Marik Sebastian Ishtar III!

Chloe: That… Was… KICKASS!

Leah: At least nobody died this time.

Yugi: Oh it's just Bakura and a bunch of girls.

Téa: When did you get to be so big pimpin'?

Marik: I'm a boy! You all should know that!

Tristan: That's what you want us to think! Besides we've never met you before.

Marik: Yes you have! I'm Marik Ishtar! Villain from the second season. I went by Malik Blishtar?

Yugi: Nope never seen you a day in my life

Joey: Yeah stop trying to be a main character nyeh!

Marik: You can all go to hell!

Ollie: Mr… Mr. Kaiba's Flashy, new, expensive, overly compensating for his incredibly small penis car! You RUINED it!

Joey: You know that mook Kaiba?

(Ollie stops to look around)

Ollie: Oh my god you're Yugi Moto! I'm SUCH a fan!

Yugi: Thanks… So what's are you doing with Bakura and Marik?

Joey: Does no one care that she probably works for Kaiba?

Marik: Well Bakura invited himself on our date…

Joey: Fine! Get us killed see if I care!

Yugi: Stop right there you're with one of these girls here?

Tristan: Let me guess… Hmmm… Thhhhhat one.. (points to Leah)

Leah: No not me! It's the insane girl here Chloe! I'm into less-feminine men.

Tristan: Would you date me?

Bakura: No, she would not date you! You bloke! She obviously has better taste in men! I mean look at her! She could do 20 times better than you! (Romeo and Juliet theme) Damn! There's that music again!

Yugi: You ok Bakura? you hit your head pretty hard.

Bakura: Never mind me, I challenge you to a Children's Card game!

Yugi: Right now? But you're bleeding maybe you should see a doctor fir-

Bakura: No time for that! Bring it on Yugi!

Yugi: Super special awesome ultra sexy transformation sequence go!

Yami: Ready for a card game, bitches?

Leah: Whoa-ho ho! What just happened? You're voice? You're face? You're height? You're HAIR even! It all GREW! Well you're voice got deeper, but so?

Yami: What are you taking about? I'm Yugi Moto!

Chloe: Bull…Shit.

Yami: I really am! I promise.

Joey: Oh just let them in on it. Nyeh.

Yami: I'm an Egyptian Pharaoh from 3,000 years ago trapped in the millennium Puzzle.

Ollie: So have you been the one dueling this whole time?

Yami: Yes but-

Ollie: So the great Yugi Moto is a TOTAL SHAM!!!!!!

Chloe: Ooooh Crushed her dreams… Crushed them so hard.

Ollie: No! Get out of my way Bakura!

(Shoves him out the way)

Ollie: Give me your duel disk and your deck too!

Bakura: What is the meaning of this?

Ollie: Pharaoh, I challenge you to a children's card game!

Bakura: I asked first!

Marik: No one cares about you!

Ollie: Do you accept?

Yami: Wait, who are you?

Ollie: I am Olivia. You're opponent. That's all you need to know!

Yami: Alright, it's time to duel!

Ollie: I summon Obelisk the Tormentor!

Yami: On your first turn? How did you eve get that?

Ollie: ATTACK HIS LIFE POINTS DIRECTLY

Yami: What?!

(finishes the game)

Ollie: You loose.

Yami: No! It doesn't count! You stole Kaiba's card!

Joey: I knew it she's been around Kaiba!

Ollie: So? You stole Yugi's body!

Bakura: You know, she does have a point.

Téa: I can't believe I'm saying this but, Bakura has a point.

Yami: No, no stealing cards is against the rules!

Ollie: So? Like I care about the rules!

Yami: *under his breath* s-screw the rules, I have money.

Ollie: What Money?! I'm a little sixteen year old girl that lives in an apartment with my two friends. We have no money! I can barely make enough to keep our apartment! In fact we've been living off of pocky for the last three weeks!

Leah: Forget you pocky's awesome!

Ollie: Shut up Leah!

Yami: Whatever. I win by default of cheating. End of story.

Chloe: but-

Yami: END OF STORY!

Joey: So no one cares she's a spy?


	5. you started living with us when?

Chapter Five: You magically started living with us when?

(Back at Ollie's work)

Ollie: Mr. K-Kaiba sir.

Kaiba: What? Did you find Yugi?

Ollie: Yes… I even beat him at duel monsters.

Kaiba: REALLY? I mean. Good. Did you capture him?

Ollie: No, we just played a children's card game. How could I have done that? Anyways I sort of let my friend drive your car and, it'll be out of the shop… never.

Kaiba: That's ok, here take this more expensive one. I need you to keep spying his friends.

Ollie: Thanks?

Kaiba: Here's a bonus too.

Ollie: Why?

Kaiba: I don't know I guess I like your... spunk. Yeah let's go with that. Get out of my office, try to actually capture Yugi next time.

(Exit Olivia)

(back at the apartment.)

Ollie: And so he gave me ANOTHER car. And a bonus.

Chloe: That's a bad thing?

Leah: Yeah, we can finally stop living on pocky!

Ollie: I thought you didn't mind it…

Bakura: You can't just survive on pocky. You need things like, steak and meat and tea.

Ollie: Don't you have to go home? Both of you?

Bakura: What home? I've been living on the streets. This is the first shower I've had in 3 weeks.

Marik: It shows.

Leah: *Breaths through teeth* … sympathy… I guess… you can stay with us…

Chloe: Awww! If Leah can keep her boy toy can I?

Leah: Shut up Chloe!

Bakura: I am NOT her boy toy! (under his breath) …yet.

Chloe: Please, please, please?

Ollie: I guess.

Chloe: LIVE IN BOYFRIENDS FOR THE WIN!

Marik: Excellent! I will go pack my things and return shortly!

(Exit Marik)

Ollie: How are we going to fit all these people? I mean we only have three bedrooms.

Chloe: Well Bakura can sleep on the couch, and Marik could sleep in my-

Everyone but Chloe: NO!

Chloe: Why the frik not?!

Bakura: I don't want to hear the things that go on in that room. Especially when I'm trying to sleep!

Chloe: Oh, we wouldn't be that loud! I mean be nice!

Bakura: Nice? I have never heard of it. Is it polish?

Chloe: No, it means to not be mean, dumbass. You won't even know he's there!

Ollie: Alright, Chloe you get ONE night with him in your room. We'll see how things go.

Chloe: Yes-ah!

(**Those** noises are coming from Chloe's room, Bakura is shown with his eyes wide and scared. Leah is softly crying curled up, Ollie has a pillow over her head, then next morning Ollie and Bakura are shown very sleep deprived. Leah is still in her room, enter Chloe)

Chloe: Good Morning everyone!

Ollie: Marik's on the couch now.

Chloe: W-why?

Ollie: You two were too loud.

Chloe: Were not!

Ollie: Come with me.

(The three go over to Leah's room and open the door)

Leah: Go away…

Chloe: Oh Leah get out of bed!

Leah: NO!

Ollie: Look at what you did to Leah?!

Chloe: She probably had a bad dream!

Leah: I GOT NO SLEEP! (Cries, curled in a ball)

Marik (from the living room) Where did everybody go?

Bakura: We're in here you moron!

Leah: NO! Don't let him come in!

(Enter Marik)

Marik: Wow, you guys look like you didn't get a lot of sleep.

Bakura: What a good observation. I wonder why?!

Marik: Is she ok?

Leah: NO I AM NOT OK! ALL I COULD HEAR LAST NIGHT WAS THE SOUND OF-

(Alarm goes off playing Aerosmith's dude looks like a lady)

Leah: Oh I love this song! (Jumps out of bed singing and pointing to Marik, Bakura laughs slightly)

Marik: Stop it! I do NOT look like a lady! I COMMAND you to stop singing!

Bakura: What's wrong Marik? It's a perfectly good song. In fact it's so good it should be your theme song.

Marik: IT SHALL NOT!


	6. We're never gonna score!

Chapter six: We're never gonna score!

(On the street all of them)

Ollie: This tracking Device I put on Yugi will always tell me where he is. That way I can find him for Mr. Kaiba.

Bakura: When did you put that on him? I don't remember that.

Ollie: In between Chapter 4 and 5.

Chloe: Yeah weren't you paying attention?

Ollie: Oooh! Got a signal! (Runs over to the streets were Yugi is. He's just finished a duel with Weevil.)

Yami: Take that you obvious MTV reference!

Weevil: hehehe damn it hehehe

Joey: Look! Aren't those girls from two chapters ago?

Yami: You'd figure they'd have us in more chapters since we're main characters and all.

Tristan: The Mary Sues?

Marik: I'm not a GIRL!

Tristan: Sure you're not…

Chloe: Ollie, fill us in.

Rex (walks up to Leah): hey baby…

Leah: Get yourself out of my face.

Bakura: Get the *beep* out of here!

Marik: Oh do you see him as a threat?

Bakura: I DO NOT! (Love music plays) I HATE THAT MUSIC! MAKE IT STOP (runs off to a alleyway)

Ryo: Do I finally get a part?

Bakura: NO!

Ryo: but I know the secret behind the music!

Bakura: For Brittan's sake what is it?

Ryo: You have feelings for this girl.

Bakura: What?

Ryo: That's right.

Bakura: I… suppose.

(Bakura goes back over where the rest of everyone else is.)

Marik: What was that all about Bakura?

Bakura: I'm not entirely sure…

Rex: (up to Chloe) Hey baby…

Marik: I hope you realize that's never gonna happen!

Rex: Shut up man, I'm trying to score.

Chloe: Oh, not even I'M that mentally ill.

Marik: Precisely.

Téa: Wow, you aren't? I mean Marik of all people! He's the 2nd girliest man in this whole show.

Yami: Yeah, the world thought he was gay before you let him tap you.

Chloe: I have a VERY distinctive taste in men. He fits those tastes.

Tristan: Gay?!

Chloe: Noooo, just very pretty.

Rex: So I don't get to score because I'm not a shemale?

Chloe: Exactly! Also you're a bit short for me too.

(Rex looks at Ollie)

Ollie: No. Don't even. You aren't.

Weevil: he he what about me?

Ollie: go though puberty first.

Weevil: Hmmmmmm we're never gonna score!!!

Yami: Oh well suck it up. It's not like you ever were in the first place. I mean look at you two. You look like Millhouse and a girl in a beenie. Go home the two of you!

(exit rex and weevil)

Chloe: So what now?

Ollie: I'd like to spend sometime with the guy who's been stealing Yugi Moto's body.

Téa: No you don't!

Ollie: I most certainly will!

Téa: That's MY man candy you're messing with.

Yami: Ladies, Ladies there's enough Pharaoh to go around.

Ollie/Téa: NO THERE ISN'T

Chloe: Let's make this interesting… We'll solve this like we solve everything.

Marik: By talking it out with our split personalities?

Chloe: No, not this time. This time we'll use the power of CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES!

Tristan: But Téa's never won a duel!

Chloe: Well that's sounds like a personal problem.

Yami: Don't I get a say in any of this? I mean who I like, and how I want to deal with-

Chloe: Shut up.

(One crappy children's card game later)

Ollie: I WON! Take that you Slutty McSlutface!

Chloe: Ollie win the date!

Ollie: Yes, now I can finally capture you for Mr…. Ka- Cuddle bunny…

Tristan: Not even I buy that.

Marik: (Goes over to ollie and whispers in her ear) The best thing to say now is "Ignore Me!"

Ollie: Are you sure? (Marik nods his head) IGNORE ME!


	7. I forgot to name the chapter :D

Chapter 7:

Chloe: Since Olivia won the duel she gets to go on the date with the weirdo who takes control of Yugi's body.

Yami: (very fast) Thank god cause Téa is so annoying!

Téa: What?

Joey: Hey Yug, I wouldn't do it. She works for Kaiba. She's probably, working for Kaiba…

Yami: And that is worse than Tea's friendship speeches, how?

Joey: Nyeh, good point!

Yami: So Olivia where do you want to go?

Ollie: How about a resturant?

Yami: I really don't care.

Ollie: Then that it is.

Yami: I'll show up at your apartment at six. Without any explanation on how I know where it is.

Ollie: Sounds great!

(Back at the apartment)

Chloe: tsk, tsk, tsk Ollie! Dating a boy just because you want to impress your boss! I'm ashamed!

Bakura: It's not that bad. It's not like she's going to take him to Kaiba.

Ollie: Well actually…

Chloe: NO! You are NOT actually capturing this boy for your shitty boss! I mean come on!

Ollie: What? No! I'm not THAT horrible!

Marik: I feel you are lying.

Ollie: Well I'm not going too because I kinda like him…

Leah: Oh great! Right as we were about to break our Mary Sue personalities!

Bakura: (under his breath) you three were never about to break your Mary Sue personalities.

Chloe: Shut up Bakura! Let us believe it!

(Hours of preparation later Yami is sitting on the couch, waiting for Ollie)

Leah: GET DOWN HERE! YOU'RE PRETTY ENOUGH!

(Enter Ollie)

Ollie: Yes hi.

Yami: Ready?

Ollie: Yeah…

(At a restaurant café thing)

Yami: (laughs) This isn't nearly as bad as the date I went on with Téa!

Ollie: Well I could always throw in a friendship speech.

Yami: Oh god no. How are you so familiar with the ways of card games?

Ollie: I learned it. I mean it's not hard.

Yami: It's the most impossible game ever! I mean one time I won because of a game flaw! Games don't have flaws!

Ollie: Well I've also played a WHOLE lot, probably most of my natural life.

Yami: I've never met someone so obsessed with card games as I.

Ollie: Well there's a first for everything.

(Enter Kaiba)

Kaiba: (Coughs, COCKBLOCK!) That is getting pretty bad. Hello Yugi.

Yami: What are you doing here?

Kaiba: I was just thanking Ms. Olivia, I see she's found you for me.

Yami: WHAT?! You mean Joey was right?

Ollie: Well yes.

Yami: I can't believe it! I owe him 30 dollars!

Ollie: You bet if I was evil or not?

Yami: Sure why not? We also bet if you liked me or Tristan.

Ollie: WHAT TRISTAN? GET HIM OUT OF HERE KAIBA!

Kaiba: Gladly. Ha! Now I can have Olivia's sweet thighs wrapped around me all night long!

Ollie: What? All I heard was my name?

Kaiba: N-nothing. Anyways, we're all going to my Kaiba-dungeon. Trademark Kaibacorp.

Ollie: I need to get home soon though sir. I have Four children to care for! They won't know what to do with themselves without me there!

(Screen shot of the apartment from an aerial view)

Leah: She's been gone for a while now, should we be worried?

Chloe: So? She's probably getting laid. Let her be. She'll survive a night on her own.

Marik: What do you propose we do while she's gone?

Bakura: How about we play kill Marik? I like that game.

Chloe: No, we can play that later. Let's get wasted! I know where she hides the alcohol!

Three of them: YES!

(In the Kaiba-Dungeon)

Ollie: Why did you tie ME UP too?

Kaiba: I prefer my women tied up, I mean because I was just using you, yes. Using you to get to Yami.

Ollie: ASSHOLE.

Kaiba: That's just a nice way to say CEO. Well I have to go do rich teenager things like… go to the moon on vacation and meet intergalactic smurfs that my dad threw in jail when he was my age.

(Exit Kaiba)

Yami: It's ok! I'm sure you roomates will find us.

Ollie: Are you kidding me? It'll take them weeks to even begin to CARE we're here.

Yami: It'll take my friends weeks to even find this place!

Ollie: So we're going to be stuck here a few chapters?

Yami: Yep At least one and a half.

Ollie: Might as well get to know each other.

Yami: Well I was a Pharaoh in a past life and-(goes on)

Ollie: It's better than dealing with Kaiba's ego.


	8. Marik's Evil Council Meeting

Chapter 8. Marik's Evil Council meeting.

(Everyone is talking loudly, finally Marik gets control of the room)

Marik: Alright, time for the evil Roll call. Maximillion Pegasus?

Pegasus: I'm here Marik-boy

Marik: Bakura?

Bakura: You know I'm here! We rode in the same bloody car, and got dropped off by the same crazy women!

Marik: Rex Raptor and Weevil Underwood?

Rex: Those chicks were hot…

Weevil: hehehe Yeah, totally.

Pegasus: Women? How old are they?

Marik: Sixteen like every Main Character on this show!

Zorc: I'm not sixteen!

Marik: I said MAIN character! Does anyone [Eff]ing listen to me?

Bakura: No.

Marik: Tonight we have to decided how we're going to get rid of Yugi Moto for good! No time for screw ups.

Bakura: Of course…

Zombie boy: Brains Brains (Kaiba has him)

Marik: What? How?

Zombie boy: Brains Brains Brains (He was out at some cafe and Kaiba just took him)

Bakura: But that makes no sense!

Zombie Boy: Brains (You're telling me)

Bakura: Doesn't mean that Kaiba also has the third girl in the house?

Marik: There's a third gir- oh yes, I suppose so. Too bad for what's her name.

Bakura: Shouldn't we inform the other ones?

Marik: There is no time for that! We must be evil!

(phone rings, Marik picks it up and puts it on speaker)

Marik: Hello? Who is calling me?

Chloe: It's just me… you boys having fun with your friends?

Bakura: Did- did she just call you?

Marik: Yes, I've heard around that your friend that works for Kaiba was caught by Kaiba.

Chloe: Oh well serves her right. She'll get out like a big girl.

Marik: But-

Chloe: JUST LIKE A BIG GIRL. I called to ask you what you two wanted for dinner. Since we're going to blow through Olivia's work bonus.

Bakura: Your friend is being held captive and you're spending her work bonus? You are evil. Why are you two not here?

Marik: This is a boy's club! NO GIRLS ALLOWED!

Pegasus: Who's the girl on the phone?

Bakura: It's his GIRLFRIEND.

(Unanimous laughter)

Pegasus: Yeah right! And Cecilia's alive. Marik is GAY. We decided this last time.

Marik: I am NOT!

Chloe: Are those your little friends? Hiii! I'm Chloe, Marik's Girlfriend!

Zorc: You mean he's telling the truth!

Marik: Yes, in fact I am.

Zombie Boy: Brains (Is she blind?)

Bakura: No actually, besides being a little insane she's adequately dateable.

Chloe: I am NOT crazy I KNOW Crazy, shut your face Bakura or I'll tell Leah about your little infatuation.

Bakura: You wouldn't dare…

Chloe: Try me.

Bakura: I plan too.

Marik: About dinner…

Chloe: Oh yeah, I'm in Ollie's car, I'm thinking pizza but I figured I'd have you're two's input.

Marik: I hate pizza. I prefer Taco-Bell.

Bakura: You hate pizza? How can you hate pizza?

Chloe: I'm not near one sweetie.

Marik: What are you near?

(Everyone but Bakura and Marik look annoyed)

Chloe: There's a Pizza hut, a KFC, a jack in the box…

Marik: Just go to KFC.

Bakura: I don't like it, it's too greasy. I want Arby's.

Chloe: There's a Panda Express…

Bakura: Fine. I can deal with Chinese.

Marik: I'm not sure.

Chloe/Bakura: OH COME ON!

Marik: How about dinner reservations?

Chloe: I don't feel like getting all fancy right now. I'm going to jack in the box. Anything in particular you two want? Or should I just assume you two can't make up your minds about ANYTHING?

Marik: … Get me a Jumbo Jack…

Bakura: Me too I suppose.

Chloe: Thank you for your cooperation boys! I'll be getting you all after I'm done getting dinner. GOODBYE! I swear Leah those two just can't-

(hangs up.)

Zorc: How did YOU get a girlfriend?

Marik: I took her home, we had sex, I called her a few days later and we went on a date, we started living together…

Zombie Boy: Brains brains brains? (So you started living with her? Isn't that all a bit sudden?)

Bakura: Yes, but you aren't supposed to think about that, you see-

Marik: Are we even going to talk about defeating Yugi?

Bakura: Well if Kaiba's got him isn't the hard part done? Just let him deal with it.

Marik: Very well. What do you suppose we talk about for the next few minutes?

Pegasus: How about how fabulous we all look? Ooooooh I know we should have a contest! Who's the girliest man here!

Marik: Don't be silly Pegasus! We all know I would win.

Pegasus: You keep telling yourself that.

Marik: That's it time for a contest.

Bakura: God, kill me now...


	9. Take one down, Kill a gay clown…

Chapter 9. Take one down, Kill a gay clown…

(At the apartment Chloe, Marik, Bakura, and Leah are all eating dinner on the couch)

Chloe: Did you two have fun with your little friends?

Bakura: Oh yes. We had TONS of fun.

Leah: Did you all share make up tips?

Marik: No! We talked about how we were going to destroy the world!

Bakura: Well, it started that way… by the time you came to get us we were all sharing make up tips.

Marik: You were the one who wanted to know how Pegasus got his hair that straight without frying it!

Bakura: I just thought it looked nice!

Chloe: I hate to interrupt on how evil being effeminate is but, I… (Whispers something into Marik's ear.)

Marik: We will return shortly!

(Exit Chloe and Marik)

Leah: (shouts down the hallway.) Remember to use a condom!

Bakura: Young love… it's sickening.

Leah: Very.

(Awkward Silence)

Leah: You known Marik a long time?

Bakura: Kinda…

Leah: You too seem close…

Bakura: I suppose you can say that…

(Meanwhile in the Kaiba-Dungeon Ollie and Yami are chained up.)

Yami: Forty two slaves at work on the wall, forty two slaves at work, beat one down, kill a gay clown, forty one slaves at work on the wall. (Goes on)

Ollie: I've never missed Chloe and Leah so much in my life…

Yami: Come on you know the words! (Goes on)

(enter Mokuba)

Mokuba: My big brother says he'll let you go, only if he can challenge you children's card game.

Yami: Fine! Bring the little [bleep]-er in! I'll kick his ass for the millionth time!

Mokuba: No! For some reason he wants the girl.

Ollie: Me?

Yami: Silly Kid, Your brother wants ME, girls are no good at playing children's card games! Look at Téa! She won like one game EVER.

Ollie: Two… She beat Mai Valentine, and Joey.

Yami: How do you know about her beating Joey? That wasn't apart of Dueliest kingdom or ANYTHING.

Ollie: I know my shit bitch!

Mokuba: Are you going to answer me?

Yami: No! She will not duel Kaiba! Because our friends will save us! You can tell your brother to shove it up his hairy ass!

(Exit Mokuba)

Ollie: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! I WOULD'VE KICKED HIS ASS AND GOT US OUT OF HERE! It'll take forever for our friends to get us!

Yami: Oh well. (Goes back singing)

Ollie: Kill me please!

(Back at the apartment)

Bakura: There isn't any alcohol left!

Leah: We went though all of it this afternoon.

Bakura: Too Bad. I'll need it to deal with all the idiots in this house. And by all the idiots I mean Marik.

Leah: I live with the only thing that will EVER sleep with that, I need the vodka.

Bakura: … I have a problem may I ask you about it?

Leah: I really don't care if you do or don't.

(Music plays in Bakura's head)

Bakura: There it is! Every time I look at you my stomach knots up! My hands are all sweaty and… **THIS SONG **plays in my head EVERY time I look directly at you!

Leah: That's too bad.

Bakura: I don't know what to do about it.

Leah: Wow, seems like you're in a bit of a predicament.

Bakura: What would you do?

Leah: Well, if I were you I would tell the girl how you felt, which you seem to have done. The hard part is over.

Bakura: That's nice to know.

Leah: I would pray to god she didn't reject my feelings for her and tear my heart out and show it to my face.

Bakura: I did that part first.

Leah: Good. Then I would explain to the girl what it is you like the most about them.

Bakura: Alright then. I like how ridiculously EVIL you are! I've never met anyone who hated people as much as I did. The way you talk to Marik. It makes me all… warm and fuzzy inside. You're friend is captured and you're blowing though her money and waiting until it's all gone to go rescue her!

Leah: Did that make you feel any better?

Bakura: A little.

Leah: Well that's good. I'll see you in the morning, Bakura. It's your job to make sure Marik comes out of Chloe's room before you fall asleep.

Bakura: Oh joy…

Leah: Tomorrow, we'll go get Olivia in the morning. We're almost out of money.

Bakura: Alright.

(Leah goes over and kisses him on the forehead, exit Leah)


	10. Kcab Krap Htuos Gnirb

Chapter 10: Kcab Krap Htuos Gnirb

(Leah and Bakura are barely awake but, being the morning person Chloe is, she's wide awake and bent on bothering everyone living with her.)

Chloe: Good Morning everyone! Isn't the sun shining pretty?

Bakura: Go away…

Leah: it's too early for your insanity, Chloe…

Chloe: Nonesense! What do we want to do about breakfast?

Leah: We're out of money. We need to go get Olivia now.

Chloe: Do we have to? She'll get all angry!

Bakura: What do you expect? Her to accept you with arms wide open?

Leah: We don't have to get her, but that means one of us has to get a job.

Chloe: Yeaaaaaaah no, I'll go wake up Marik.

Leah: That's what I thought.

(At the Kaiba-Dungeon)

Yami: Sixteen slaves at work on the wall, sixteen slaves at work…

Ollie: SHUT UP. JUST SHUT THE [Beep] UP I AM SO SICK OF YOUR [Beep]ing song! I don't know how Yugi Moto can put up with you! You have to be the second most annoying person in this whole series!

(Enter Kaiba and Mokuba)

Kaiba: Am I the first?

Ollie: No, Mokuba, of course!

Mokuba: Hey!

Everyone: Shut up Mokuba!

Kaiba: I came back to see if you'll reconsider my challenge.

Yami: No! She-

Ollie: OH GOD PLEASE!

(let's Ollie down)

Kaiba: Then follow me, to the Kaiba-Dungeon Card Game room!

Ollie: You have an arena in your dungeon?

Kaiba: Of course. You never know when you need to play children's card games with prisoners.

Ollie: Of course.

Yami (shouting from the hallway) Hey! Butthole! You forgot to let me down!

Kaiba: I didn't forget. I just didn't want to.

Yami: That's ok! My friends will- who am I kidding they're probably lost in Moscow or somewhere.

( over to Yugi-Tachi stuck in Antarctica)

Téa: I know he's here somewhere.

Tristan: I'm cold. Aww look it's a penguin.

Joey: There's no time for cute penguins! We have to find Yug- aww a baby seal…

Téa: Don't worry Man-Candy I'll find you soon!

(Back to the Kaiba-Dungeon so many moves into the game)

Ollie: I summon Obelisk the Tormentor!

Kaiba: HOW DID YOU GET THAT?

Ollie: I stole it.

Kaiba: When?

Ollie: No time for that! Attack his life points!

Kaiba: I lost TO A GIRL!

(Enter Chloe, Leah, Marik, and Bakura)

Bakura: To a girl? That's pathetic!

Chloe: Oh my god the great Seto Kaiba! I think we should all attempt to give a shit!

Leah: Ha! You lost to Olivia.

Kaiba: Look, I'll pay you any amount of money never to speak a word of this to anyone.

Ollie: Well, I wasn't going to tell anyone anyways. I mean it's just a card game.

(Writes on a check)

Kaiba: Here's a blank check with my name on it, write any amount of money and I'll be sure you get it.

Marik: Take it Olivia.

Leah: Will you pay our rent?

Kaiba: Yes.

Chloe: And pay for our food?

Kaiba: What every you wish.

Ollie: Do all the above and get me a motorcycle and we'll call it even.

Yami: I'm still tied up down here…

Chloe: Should we untie him?

Kaiba: No, he said his friends would save him.

Chloe: You know Kaiba, you're a real dick. I'm going to be the nice person and untie his sorry ass.

(exit Chloe)

Kaiba: So, I'll see you at work Monday?

Ollie: After you barge in on my date, tie me up and force me to listen to Yami's terrible singing? Sure. Monday at nine o'clock sharp.

Kaiba: I'll see you then.

Marik: Olivia, am I allowed to ride the Motercycle.

Ollie: Oh, Marik of course not… and if I even SEE you touch it, I promise I'll cut your face.

(Enter Chloe and Yami)

Chloe: Where do you want me to put this thing?

Yami: Just throw me outside, I'll find those idiots eventually.

Chloe: Sounds fine.

Kaiba: I'm just going to let you all go now, because I don't want to feel the shame anymore, Come on Mokuba, We'll go take some pot and we'll feel a WHOLE lot better about this situation.

(Exit Kaiba and Mokuba)

Leah: Kaiba needs to get laid.

Chloe: Like today. Too bad we won't even touch that.

Ollie: Yeah.


	11. Over 9000!

Chapter Eleven: OVER NINETHOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

(On the way home from the Kaiba-Dungeon, Ollie is driving.)

Chloe: Nice to have you back. Sweetie

Ollie: Took you long enough!

Leah: Well we got, busy…

Marik: Yes, busy… with club meetings…

Bakura: and…other things.

Ollie: At least you guys didn't ruin this car. How much money did you four blow through?

Chloe: hehe just a little bit of… all of it,

Ollie: Of course… I wouldn't expect anything less from you free loaders… At least I get a motorcycle out of this.

Marik: Ha! Little does Olivia know I will steal it when she isn't looking.

Ollie: Take it and I SWEAR I WILL CUT YOUR FACE. Also If you talk to yourself people are going to think you're crazy…

Bakura: Yes, Marik you wouldn't want your girlfriend to know you're insane.

Marik: I'm not crazy!

Bakura: Is that what MELVIN tells you?

Marik: SILENCE BAKURA!

Bakura: Make me!

Ollie: Oh my god! Are you two always like this?

Marik: It's all his fault! He's so annoying.

Bakura: I'm the annoying one?

Leah: I don't care who started it! I'm ending it! Don't make me come back there! I'll have Olivia turn this car around so help me god!

Ollie: I don't want to hear another word from either of your mouths until we get home!

(Later that day walking in town… Enter Rebecca Hawkins who comes up and kicks Marik in the shin)

Marik: OW! YOU LITTLE [EFF]ING KID! WHAT THE [EFF] DID YOU DO THAT FOR!

Rebecca: Teddy is mad at you! You forgot to tell him about the Evil Council Meeting!

Marik: He'll get over it.

Chloe: Aww! Look at the teddy bear! It's so cute!

Teddy: Touch me and die unclean one!

Leah: HOLY SHIT IS THAT IT'S VOICE. OH MY GOD!

Chloe: I know it's frikkin adorable! (Grabs Teddy) Can I hold it?

Teddy: YOU DEATH WILL BE A PAINFUL ONE!

Chloe: How much do you want for it?

Rebecca: He's not for sale! I came here to duel Marik Ishtar! Satan said I had to because we weren't invited!

Chloe: You can duel him on one condition… If you loose, I get to keep Teddy.

Rebecca: Satan will smite you where you stand! He gave me that teddy bear for antichristmas!

Chloe: Of course little girl I'm sure he did, but you see I WANT HIM

Marik: Chloe! You can't just force me into a duel.

Chloe: Oh come on, it's not like anything bad could happen it's just a children's card game. Has anything bad ever happened?

Bakura: Well actually…

Chloe: Exactly so, go win me that teddy bear!

Bakura: Aren't you just the nicest boyfriend ever? Winning your girlfriend a teddy bear.

Marik: This will be easy. It's just a child… I mean how often to children win Children's Card Game.

(one card game later…)

Rebecca: HA! With Satan on my side I can complete anything!

Chloe: Damn! I wanted that bear!

Marik: This is the second time this week a child has beaten me at children's card games!

Chloe: It's still sooooo cute!

Teddy: Your mother plays card games in hell!

Chloe: Cool! Does she win?

Teddy: NEVER!

Ollie: Well it was nice meeting you little girl…

Rebecca: Hmmph! I don't have time for this! I need to go play tea party with teddy and his Satanic pals! He's part of a set. (Kicks Marik in the shin) And don't forget about us next time!

(exit Rebecca and Teddy)

Marik: AH! Get back here you [EFF]ing BRAT! I will destroy you! You dare kick [Eff]ing Marik Sebastian Ishtar in the shin! You will become my mind slave! I will make you suffer until your last breath.

Chloe: Sure you will, let it go honey… it's ok.

(Back at home that night everyone's exhausted.)

Ollie: I need to check our answering machine…

Answering Machine: You have 9153 new messages.

Chloe: WHO THE FUCK?

Answering Machine: Hello, this is Kaiba I was just wondering-

(Ollie deletes)

Answering machine: Hello it's Kaiba again… I was…

(Ollie just deletes them all. They're all from Kaiba then the phone rings)

Chloe: What the [beep] does he want!

Ollie: Hello? Hi Mr. Kaiba. No, I can come in. As long as you don't tie me up again. Ok sir. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Chloe: You have to go in to work at this time of night?

Ollie: Sadly. I'll probably get my motorcycle while I'm out. I'll be back in the morning.

Leah: Have fun.


	12. MotorcyclesIt isn’t mine!

Ch. 12: Motorcycles/It isn't mine!

( Next afternoon Marik comes home taking off a helmet, Everyone is watching TV but Chloe. She's in the shower. Olivia looks INCREDIBLY angry but her gaze does not leave the TV.)

Ollie: Hi Marik, did you have a good time?

Marik : Yes I did …is something the matter Olivia?

Leah: Dumbass.

Ollie: Marik, What did I tell you would happen to you if you rode my motorcycle?

Marik: You would cut me.

Ollie: So why did you decided to take a ride?

Marik: I remembered this was a 4kids dub and even if you decided to cut me they wouldn't show it. So I didn't see the big problem.

Bakura: I love your thinking. Well, lack thereof.

Ollie: ooooh bad move. Didn't you think I already knew that? Did you think actually care if they showed it or not.

Leah: Oh, don't kill the stupid homo. You'll have to deal with Chloe's whiny ass.

Ollie: She'll deal.

(Ollie stands up and pulls out a switch blade, walks over to marik)

Marik: Olivia, we can talk this out! I'm sure… You wouldn't want to do anything you would regret… I command you to go sit back down!

( the screen goes black)

Marik: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY ARM! YOU [EFF]ing WHORE! IT'S JUST A MOTORCYCLE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

(Let there be picture!)

Ollie: DAMN YOU MOVED YOU LITTLE [Beep]

(Enter Chloe clad in a towl)

Chloe: (coughs) Fanservice… Gosh I think I'm catching what Kaiba had… What's going on out here?

Marik: SHE CUT ME! ON MY ARM!

Ollie: I was aiming for his torso but the little [beep]er had to move, it's pretty deep. He'll still may bleed out if I'm lucky.

Bakura: That's great!

Chloe: Someone should take him to the hospital!

Bakura: It's just Marik. Not like anyone will miss him

Leah: Well I can't the "Kill your family show" is about to start.

Ollie: Oooh "Kill your family?" really?

Chloe: Well, I love you enough to drive you to the hospital…

Marik: (memoires of last driving experience flood his mind) NO! I mean it's not that deep, I think I can walk it off.

Chloe: At least let me get a bandage on it. Come, we'll use Ollie's bed sheets…

(later that day while cleaning. Chloe finds Yaoi)

Chloe: Wow... You guys You'll never guess what I found in Marik's closet!

Marik: What did you find?

Chloe: Like a whole stack of Yaoi Manga!

(pulls it out from behind her)

Ollie: Don't flaunt his Yaoi around!

Marik: What?! Impossible it's not mine! I've never seen that before PROMISE!

Leah: Then why would it be in your closet?

Marik: I don't know! It's just not mine! I swear! Straight men don't have the time to look at gorgeous men have sex.

Leah: Yeah Marik, straight men don't.

Chloe: Then who's is it?

Marik: It's Bakura's!

Bakura: I don't read yaoi.

Marik: Then you planted it in my room!

Bakura: I have things to do besides read yaoi! Like, have heterosexual sex with my girlfriend. Yes! that's my favorite sex.

Chloe: More like the only sex…

Bakura: Marik, you're the most pathetic entity on this series.

Marik: I am not! Tristan is.

Bakura: No, even Tristan is higher on hierarchy than you.

Marik: I am not! I at least have fan girls unlike him!

Bakura: That is where you are oh so very wrong.

Chloe: Alright, Marik I'm just going to throw this away…

Marik: No! Don't just throw it away! Just give it to me. I'll find the owner Yaoi isn't very cheap… or so I've heard.

Leah: Yeah, The owner is holding it right now.

(Marik throws it over to Bakura)

Bakura: Don't give this to me! Lord knows what you've done with it!

(Throws it back to him, they play hot potato with it)

Bakura: Stop it!

Marik: You stop it!

Bakura: Just admit it's yours so we can move on with your life!

Marik: Ditto, except about you!

Bakura: We all know it's yours.

Marik: It isn't! I swear!

(Chloe catches it.)

Chloe: And out the window it goes…

(Throws it out the window and as horrible as it is, the yaoi lands in a garbage can as the garbage men come to get it.)

Marik: (runs out the door) No! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!

Chloe: (Sighs and put her head down) Straight men can like Yaoi too right?

Leah: Yeah I know... straight... boys who read those kinds of stories.

Ollie: Of course chloe.

Bakura: Yes, we will let you believe that.

Chloe: I love you guys so much.


	13. Television arguments

Ch 13: Television arguments

(Chloe, Leah and Ollie are sitting on a couch in the front yard of the new house Kaiba bought for them, Bakura and Marik are taking boxes in the house.)

Chloe: It was nice of your boss to buy us a house...

Ollie: Wasn't it?

Chloe: You think he likes you?

Leah: Ewwwww! He's grody!

Chloe: You met him like ONE TIME how can you say that?

Ollie: Kaiba doesn't like me! He just likes to buy me nice things, and give me random promotions, and never blame me for any mistakes ever.

Leah: Uh huh...

Ollie: Well he's never asked me out! Besides he's my BOSS I'd never go out with him.

(Bakura and Marik pick up the couch the girls are sitting on)

Bakura: ha ha, you mary sues.

Chloe: up up up less talking more moving in.

Bakura: Pick up your own damn boxes...

Chloe: What was that? Did you say you LIKED living on the streets?

Bakura: Never mind.

Chloe: Marik, do you think Ollie's Boss likes her?

Marik: Sure why not? Can I get some water?

Leah: NO! Keep moving things in.

(Bakura is sitting on the couch, and Leah comes out of her room she is unable to sleep.)

Leah: Hey, Bakura.

Bakura: Can't sleep?

Leah: No, ...Want to watch some T.V?

Bakura: Ummm, sure.

(Turns on the T.V)

Leah: You like this show?

Bakura: Not really.

(Hands him the remote)

Leah: You can pick a show if you want.

Bakura: No, no I can watch T.V whenever I want, you can pick the show.

Leah: No, Pick a show you want to watch...

Bakura: I really don't like Television.

Leah: Then why would you want to watch T.V!

Bakura: I thought you would want to!

Leah: I really don't care what we do!

(Leah turns of the T.V, awkward silence)

Bakura: Then what do you want to do?!

Leah: I DON'T REALLY KNOW!

Bakura: FINE!

Chloe (From her bedroom): GET A ROOM!

Leah: Wait... if he isn't out here, and she's awake...

Bakura: MARIK, GET OUT OF CHLOE'S ROOM!

Marik: (from Chloe's room): Awww! But we haven't even done anything!

Leah: NOW!

(Enter Marik)

Bakura: Stay out here!

Marik: (half asleep) can't I just go to my own room?

Bakura: No, Stay where we can keep an eye on you! Now LEAH!

Leah: uuugh! I'm going to my room!

(Exit Leah)

Bakura: NO! I'm not done yelling at you!

(In Leah's room, Bakura has followed Leah and backs her up against a wall)

Leah: WHAT?! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBILY WANT? … um...

Bakura: Oh to buggary with it all.

(Kisses Leah, Bakura and Leah sex ensues)

(The next morning Ollie comes home from work, and sees Marik asleep on the couch, Bakura is nowhere in sight.)

Ollie: Marik, Marik wake up.

Marik: (Half sleep) huh?

Ollie: Where's Bakura?

Marik: He went to Leah's room to argue with her last night. I suppose he's still in there.

Ollie: No way. (Goes to Leah's bedroom to see Bakura laying in bed with her) I'm going to be at work all day so you three need to fend for yourselves. I hope you can do that.

Marik: uh huh... (falls back asleep)

(Later that morning in Leah's room)

Bakura: That was... Interesting.

Leah: Yes, yes it was.

Bakura: That's the first time I've ever done anything like... that.

Leah: Yeah, Same here.

Bakura: Oh really?

Leah: Yeah, but there's a first for everything.

Bakura: Yes. Yes there is.

Leah: We are never going to talk about this to anyone ever.

Bakura: No, no we are not.

Leah: Good. I'm glad we understand that.

Bakura: Well... I'm going to go take a walk...

Leah: You go do that.

(Exit Bakura)

Leah: So that wasn't a dream...

(Later that day)

Chloe: Where did Bakura go actually? I haven't seen the bastard all day.

Leah: He said he was going for a walk to clear his head.

Chloe: What were you two-

Leah: I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH BAKURA LAST NIGHT!

Chloe: I didn't think you were, I mean god you're Leah. When are you going to have sex with anyone.

Leah: Oh.. well, wait I would have sex with someone if I wanted to!

Chloe: Sure you would, I was asking what you two were arguing about last night.

Leah: The T.V

Chloe: That sounds about right.

Marik: Is that why he went in your bedroom?

Leah: Actually as weird as it sounds, Yes.

Chloe: You might find this interesting but Leah wouldn't have sex with anybody ever, even if it was Bakura.

Leah: I SO WOULD.

Chloe: Lies!

(Enter Bakura)

Leah: Oh... hi.

Bakura: Hi.

Chloe: Does Ollie's note say when she's going to be home?

Marik: Tonight.

Leah: Good.

Chloe: I hope she gets to actually you know STAY HOME tonight.

Leah: Knowing Kaiba, we won't see her for a week.


	14. It's 3 AM, she won't put out

Chapter 14: It's 3 A.M, she won't put out.

(In the Kaiba Dungeon with Ollie and Kaiba)

Ollie: (Lethargically) Wow Mr. Kaiba I love what you've done with your Dungeon since the last time you trapped me here.

Kaiba: Thanks. And this is my Yugi Surveillance system.

Ollie: Why do you need me if you have-

Kaiba: I must always be watching Yugi.

Ollie: Of course, Mr. Kaiba.

Kaiba: Please, call me Seto.

Ollie: I'd rather not Mr. Kaiba.

Kaiba: I brought you down here for a reason because I thought the gloom and despair was the best mood for my question. Olivia would you like to go to lunch with me sometime?

Ollie: Ahhh... Gee, Mr. Kaiba, you know I'd love to but

Kaiba: But what?!

Ollie: I have to make sure my pet Marik doesn't get out of his cage... He'll rip up our couch if there isn't someone to watch him.

Kaiba: Oh, another time I guess.

Ollie: Yeah, maybe like next... never.

Kaiba: When do you think that'll be?

Ollie: Well once hell freezes over for the fourth time, maybe.

Kaiba: Oh. I see. Is there someone else right now?

Ollie: Uh yes! I can't be with you not only because you're my boss and there's probably a billion rules at your work prohibiting that but because I'm dating... umm... Yami. Yes,

Kaiba: You mean Yugi's inner pedophile?

Ollie: Yep! That's the one.

Kaiba: Hmmf. It's because of my small penis isn't it? Now, I'll never get to know the sweet, amazing feeling of Olivia's thighs wrapped around my waist while I ravage her body for hours. I must destroy Yugi so I can make that wet dream a reality. I'll be just like Stephanie Meyer. Only without the sparkly vampires, and 12 year old girl fan base. Also it won't suck ass.

Ollie: What?

Kaiba: What? Never heard of a soliloquy before?

Ollie: Yeah um, is there anything else Mr. Kaiba?

Kaiba: No, you can go home now.

Ollie: See you tomorrow Mr. Kaiba...

(Late that night in the new house, Kaiba is in the front of the house throwing rocks at a window)

Kaiba: Olivia, Olivia wake up! It's Kaiba!

(Marik Opens the window door)

Marik: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?

Kaiba: Sorry, I was looking for-

Marik: I DON'T GIVE AN [EFF] WHO YOU WERE LOOKING FOR! IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING! WE ARE ALL TRYING TO SLEEP!

Chloe(from the bed): Who's are you yelling at dear?

Marik: Kaiba!

Chloe: Is he out the window?

(Chloe goes over, in a bed sheet)

Marik: See? He's just standing there! Looking like a Anti-Hero.

Chloe: GO HOME! NO ONE LIKES YOU!

Marik: Ha! Take that you spoiled brat!

Kaiba: Why are you naked with Marik?

Marik: She's my girlfriend, binky boy!

Kaiba: Just wait a blue eyes white dragon loving moment. YOU got a GIRL?

Marik: YES! What's the big [EFF]ing deal about it?

Kaiba: Is she crazy?

Chloe: Not enough to where the doctors can prove it dork!

Kaiba: Wow! Marik, I always thought you were... you know...

Marik: I'm NOT gay! Why the [EFF] does everyone think that.

Kaiba: Because a you're a guy who likes to dress effeminately, and hangs around with another extremely attractive man, and reads yaoi, and flaunts his gorgeous abs, and strokes a phallic symbol suggestively in every scene.

Marik: Argh! That in no way makes me gay! I DO NOT READ YAOI!

Chloe: My ass you don't read yaoi...

Marik: It was Bakura's I swear! In the name of Marik Sebastain Ishtar III I command you to believe me!

Chloe: Of course honey. I believe you. ANYWAYS, GO AWAY NO ONE LIKES YOU!

Kaiba: Olivia might.

Chloe: Pffft! I doubt it. She WORKS for you. Doesn't mean ANYTHING about liking you. Go home.

Kaiba: Fine...

(A few minutes later, Kaiba comes over again, holding a Boom box over his head playing James Blunt's Your Beautiful, Bakura wakes up)

Bakura: I AM TRYING TO SLEEP! UNLIKE YOU I HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE IN THE MORNING! What the hell are you even playing? What is that crap? I'm not fond of crap! Come back when you're playing something like Scorpions. I like them. (Starts to hum no one like you)

Kaiba: Does Olivia even live here?

Bakura: YES! BUT SHE'S ASLEEP! LIKE ALL OF US!

Kaiba: Can you go wake her up for me?

Bakura: ...NO! I'm not going to wake her up!

Kaiba: Why not?

Bakura: BECAUSE IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING!

Kaiba: So? I have too much money to go get her myself.

Bakura: Go home before I kill you!

Kaiba: Fine. Tell her she needs to come to work early in the morning. I have a special suprize for her, it is in no way a Blue Eyes White Dragon Cosplay costume for her to wear as a uniform.

Bakura: IF I TELL HER THAT WILL YOU STAY HOME TONIGHT?

Kaiba: Would it make the situation less creepy if I say yes?

Bakura: Sure whatever.

Kaiba: Then yes.

(Exit Kaiba)

Bakura: Ugggh Why do I live here, again? (Looks at a picture of Leah) Oh yes, that's right. (Goes back to bed and falls asleep,)


	15. Kaiba Date

Chapter 15: Kaiba date.

(A few mornings later, Kaiba has gone over to the house EVERY night playing James Blunt)

Chloe: Ollie, you HAVE to do something about your boss, he's being really annoying.

Ollie: I know. I know.

Leah: I haven't gotten any sleep since he decided to play james blunt out side.

Ollie: I KNOW OK! I'll deal with it! I promise.

Bakura: You better…

Ollie: Or what kitty?

Bakura(Under his breath): Not a kitty…

Chloe: Yeah huh! Who honestly has white hair when they're sixteen! And for that matter, Marik you're the first tan skinned person I've met who was naturally blonde.

Bakura: It's because he's just that stupid.

Marik: At least I'm not a kitty!

(Bakura growls under his breath)

Marik: That's right kitty pur, pur for your master Marik…

Bakura: I'm going back to bed…

Chloe: I'm going to take a shower…

(While Chloe is in the shower)

Chloe (singing, rather horribly): Touch my body! Throw me on the floor wrestle me around play with me some more!

(Enter Kaiba psycho shower scene theme plays)

Chloe: Touch my body! Throw me on the bed- Marik, sweetie is that you?

Kaiba: No.

(Chloe opens curtain)

Chloe: AHHHHHHHHH! EWWWWWWWW! IT'S A RAT! MARIKMARIKMARIK!! Wait? Isn't that… OHGODMARIK!EWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!! KAIBA!

(Enter Marik)

Marik: CALM THE [EFF] DOWN! Kaiba? What the [EFF] you doing in here?

Kaiba: Does this lunatic belong to you?

(Marik Drags him out.)

Kaiba: I have too much money to be thrown around like this! You'll be hearing from my lawyers!

(Bakura starts to beat Kaiba in the head a little bit)

Bakura: What were you doing in there?

Kaiba: I'm looking for Olivia. N-n-no not my anime mullet!

(Leah takes over beating Bakura in the head while he rests his hand)

Leah: Why?

Kaiba: I wanted to ask her something. Which room is hers?

Leah: Third door to the left.

Kaiba: Thanks. I'll think about NOT suing you for more than a hundred thousand.

(Exit Kaiba)

Marik: Did you just sell out your friend to the creepiest character in this story?

Leah: Well I HAD to get him away from me. Stop breaking the fourth wall, Marik.

Marik: I'll break the fourth wall all I want! Because it is EVIL!

Bakura: Sometimes, I wonder about you, Marik.

(To Olivia's room where Kaiba is Olivia is asleep. He goes to lay on the bed next to her)

Kaiba (whispers in her ear): Hello Olivia…

Ollie (barley awake): Huh? Oh hi Mr. Kaiba, what are you doing here? Wait!

(jumps out of bed)

Ollie: Mr. Kaiba! What are you doing in my bed! Let alone my room! Let alone MY HOUSE!

Kaiba: You mean the house I bought you?

Ollie: Oh yeah, you're house...

Kaiba: I wanted to ask you something… I know you were busy last time but I figured my money would make you less busy would you like to go to dinner with me?

Chloe (From the living room) Girl, you better say yes! I don't want to hear James Blunt, AGAIN!

Kaiba: Yes, Olivia you should listen to your friends.

Ollie: hmmm… FINE! I'll go on ONE DATE with you Mr. Kaiba.

Kaiba: YESSSSSSS! I mean, good. I'll be back later, I have to go do rich teenage boy things like, get a sexual attraction to my step sister and ruin a poor innocent girl's life, while making a bet with the same step sister that I can deflower the headmaster's daughter before break then, fall in love with the headmaster's daughter and get run over by a car.

Ollie: Alright, then you do that Mr. Kaiba. I'll see you at six.

(At a theater that is empty except a few workers.)

Ollie: Why is it so bare?

Kaiba: I own it so I made it empty for just us.

Ollie: It almost seems creepy.

Kaiba: I thought it'd be cool for the two of us to be alone. All alone. Together. In a dark secluded room.

Ollie: Oh… In that case this is not creepy. Not at all Mr. Kaiba.

Kaiba: Iwanttorapeyou.

Ollie: What?

Kaiba: Nothing. Follow me. (To the concession stand. Holds Clerk by his shirt coller) You! Insignificant peasant! My Girlfriend and I want popcorn!

Clerk: Sir. You can have what ever you want! Just put me down so I can get it.

Kaiba: Oh right. When you have as much money as I do you tend to forget poor people are also people, too.

Ollie: Of course, Mr. Kaiba.

(After the movie Kaiba comes out laughing Olivia is trying to hide her boredom and annoyance.)

Ollie: Mr. Kaiba, I need to get home, could you please drop me off…

Kaiba: Oh yeah, When you're rich-

Ollie: You tend to forget people actually have 4 children at home to care for yadda yadda yadda.

Kaiba: Let's get going then.

(The next day at work there is a package for Ollie she looks at it then begins to read it out loud)

Ollie: Huh?

Dearest Olivia,

This is the new uniform I want you to wear for work. Since you're my girlfriend now, I thought it was appropriate.

(Olivia looks at it and sees it's a blue eyes white dragon costume)

Ollie: Oh hell no! KAIBA! GET I NEED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW?!

(Olivia runs into his office.)

Kaiba: Yes my lovely Olivia what is it?

Ollie: Just don't call me that! I'm sick of you! I'm sick of your shit! I quit!

Kaiba: Oh, you're right! It's against Kaiba-Corp regulations for two co-workers to date each other! Good point.

Ollie: NO! I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND! Now that I'm fired I can finally say what's on my mind. Kaiba, You are the most spoiled, egotistical, annoying, stalker, freak in the world. Even more annoying than Marik. I wish death upon you. Death upon all your fan girls, as well. I mean really. What is your problem? You think you're so much better than everyone else just for the sole fact that your rich. Well you know what? I can kick your ass. No, not at a children's card game, but I can fight you and hurt you so bad that you would wish you were never adopted!! That's right, I went there. And another thing! Why can't you get it through your thick skull that NO ONE likes you? The reason why anybody would try to get on your good side, other than Mokuba, is to get all the money out of you as they can!!

Mokuba: Ohh big brother you just got told!

Ollie: Just, shut up Mokuba! I'm leaving!

(Exit Olivia)

Kaiba: Was it something I said?


	16. Talent Show

Ch16: Talent Show

(Olivia has come home to break the news to her friends that she lost her job. )

Chloe: What do you mean you "Quit?"

Ollie: I couldn't take his shit anymore!

Bakura: It was a good paying job.

Ollie: Have you met Seto Kaiba?

Bakura: Good point.

Leah: So what are we going to do about money?

Chloe: I could always start selling my body, again.

Bakura: AGAIN?!

Marik: Meaning you did once before?

Leah: No. We are not going though that again.

Ollie: Do you know how much the therapy cost?

Chloe: Yeah, I paid for it.

Leah: I HAVE A SCAR!

Bakura: How does one get a scar from another selling their body?

Marik: You mean you did it once before?

Chloe: Well it kept a roof over us!

Leah: Don't get me started on your pimp!

Bakura: YOU had a pimp? I mean, I'm not surprised you being a whore and all... but a pimp?

Marik: Meaning you did it once before?

Chloe: Oh come on! He was a respectable guy, not like he beat me often he was too French for that. I mean how many French pimps are there in the world? Maybe like three.

Leah: No. You are not putting us though that again. We'll find a job.

Ollie: Yeah.

Chloe: We could always force these two to work.

Bakura: Doing what?

Chloe: I'm not entirely sure… what are you good at?

Marik: Ummm… being evil?

Chloe: That doesn't pay too high now adays… I HAVE AN AWESOME IDEA!

Leah: Oh help us all.

Ollie: Dare I ask?

Chloe: TALENT SHOW!

Leah: Why?

Chloe: Oh, we're bored enough! We all have to be good at something!

Bakura: I for one am an excelent-

Chloe: Don't care. Save it. Everyone we'll meet back in the living room in two hours have your talent!

(Two hours later)

Chloe: Ok! Who wants to go first?

Leah: I suppose I must. I will sing for my supper!

(Turns on a radio and sings her heart out!)

Bakura: BRAVO!!! THAT WAS AMAZING

Chloe: Yeah you're an awesome singer… Bakura stop being such a suck up, you're up next.

Bakura: And for my next trick I will cook.

Marik: When could you cook?

Bakura: When the author decided I needed a talent, besides being the most sensible p.

Ollie: You wish you were the most sensible person.

(Does fancy cooking tricks and what not, finally makes a steak thing. Ollie takes a bite)

Ollie: What did you do?! Shit in a frying pan?! No, I'm just kidding it's not terrible.

(Everyone takes a bite but Marik)

Chloe: It's not half bad.

Leah: I actually like it…

Bakura: Marik, just have a bite.

Marik: No! I don't like meat.

(Chloe stuffs a piece in his mouth.)

Chloe: Don't be such a baby!

Marik: It's not terrible…

Leah: So who's next?

Chloe: OOOH! I WILL!

Bakura: What talent could you possibly posses?

Chloe: Watch my epic contortionist powers!

(Chloe bends her back backwards all the way, and does the splits side to side.)

Bakura: Where did you learn that?

Chloe: Just born like this.

Leah: As long as she doesn't do the creepy one…

(Chloe bends herself into a circle)

Ollie: Oh there it is…

Chloe: and now I will fit myself into a box!

(Puts herself in a box. Olivia carries her away)

Chloe: Gimme a moment, I can get myself out.

Ollie: While you do that, I'll do my talent.

(Olivia pulls out her phone. Enter Chloe)

Bakura: What do you plan to do with that? Throw it at Marik?

Ollie: Close, but no cigar.

(Starts to call a number)

Marik: Who are you calling?

Ollie: My talent is putting up with Seto Kaiba for more than two hours.

(Kaiba answers the phone)

Kaiba: Hello?

Ollie: Hello, Mr. Kaiba. This is Olivia.

Kaiba: Hi Olivia. What's going on?

Ollie: Oh just sitting with my roommates. I figured it would be nice to to… hear… your… voice…

(Two and a half hours later, Bakura is laying on the couch bored out of his mind. Leah is banging her head against the wall. Chloe is talking to Marik about who cares?)

Kaiba: So I've been thinking you're room mates are pretty hot and if you'd like to have a foursome with me.

Bakura: That's it.

(Bakura grabs Olivia's cell phone and throws it out the window, as horrible as it is, the cell phone lands in a garbage can as the garbage men come to get it.)

Ollie: DAMNIT BAKURA YOU OWE ME A NEW PHONE!

Bakura: I honestly don't care at this point.

Leah: How, how can you stand to work for that?

Chloe: Yeah, sorry we didn't save you from his dungeon sooner. We will next time.

Ollie: Like I'd let there be a next time! Marik, it's your turn.

Marik: For my trick, I will do a motercycle jump, going ninety miles an hour, with a blindfold!

Chloe: YOU'RE GONNA DO WHAT?!

Leah: You're going to die.

Bakura: It was nice knowing you. No, that's a lie.

Ollie: Oh well.

(Outside, Marik prepares for his stunt.)

Chloe: Oh god, I'm going to watch him die. Ohgodohgodohgod…

Ollie: Get over it! You've known him for what a month?

Leah: Calm down.

(Chloe hides behind Bakura)

Chloe: Nonononononononononono I don't want to watch!

Bakura: Get off of me woman!

(Marik Starts up Ollie's motorcycle and actually does the feat without hurting himself. Everyone is awestruck Chloe is still hiding behind Bakura)

Chloe: Did he crash yet?

Bakura: No, he actually did it. And it almost looked cool.

Leah: Did he just have a badass moment?

Ollie: I think so…

Marik: I told you all I could!

(Chloe runs over to Marik)

Chloe: OHTHANKGOD I though I'd have to watch another boyfriend die again!

Marik: Again?

Chloe: Yes again. I'm so glad you're safe!

Bakura: I am actually proud at this moment to know you.

Marik: Good, so that means you all agree I'm not gay?

Bakura: No.

Ollie: No chance.

Leah: You're still a homo in our eyes.

Marik: OH [EFF] YOU ALL!


	17. You'll throw up all over him!

Chapter 17: You'll throw up all over him!

(Chloe is the first one awake, She's getting the coffee ready and if half asleep. Enter Ryo)

Chloe: G'morning Bakura…

Ryo: G'day m'am.

Chloe: Whoa… Who are you?

Ryo: I'm Bakura.

Chloe: Bullshit! Bakura is in no way that cute!

(Enter Leah)

Leah: Morning…

Chloe: Do you see this little [beep] who claims he's Bakura? He should know that Bakura isn't that cute!

(Leah walks over to Ryo)

Leah: So you're Ryo Bakura?

Ryo: Right you are.

(Leah Kill-Hugs Ryo)

Ryo: OH DEAR GOD! MY SENSITIVE LITTLE RIBS!

Leah: AWWWW I know Bakura said he was cute but THIS IS TOO MUCH!

Chloe: You KNEW about this faggot?

Leah: Yeah Bakura told me about him after we… argued.

Chloe: Jesus Christ! Marik wake up! You HAVE to come here.

(Leah lets go of Ryo. Enter Marik)

Marik: Yes, (Yawn) what is it?

Chloe: This is aperently Bakura.

Marik: Yes, That's Ryo Bakura, the Bakura you know is just a parasite who lives in this Bakura's body.

Chloe: Oh GOD! This shit is for serious?

Ryo: Exactly! The author said I can be in this chapt- I mean my other self said that I could have the body today.

Chloe: JOY! I'm SO glad!

(Chloe goes up to Ryo's ear)

Chloe: (screaming in Ryo's ear): HEY BAKURA THANKS A LOT! I REALLY WANTED TO DEAL WITH YOUR LITTLE SHIT-STAIN SELF TODAY!

Leah: Hey be nice! He's too adorable for people to not be nice.

(Enter Olivia)

Ollie: Is that Ryo?

Chloe: Oh is everyone in on this?

Ollie: Yeah.

Ryo: So what do we plan to do today, chaps?

Chloe: How about we play kill the Lil' Bakura?

Leah: NO! (Goes back to cuddling Ryo)

Bakura: Please miss…

Ollie: I want to cuddle him next!

Marik: Chloe, you don't find him cute?

Chloe: I find him cute, don't get me wrong, just the kind of cute that makes me want to throw up all over him.

Ryo (Leah and Ollie are fighting over who gets to cuddle him next): Thank you, you are a saint.

Chloe: Ha! I'm hardly such. You stupid, stupid little Frenchman.

Ryo: I'm British.

Chloe: Like I give a shit?

Ryo: Right then. So what do we plan to do today?

Leah: Well if I decided to let go of you today, we could go out somewhere…

Ollie: Oh I know the Resort of Minor Characters and Villans!

Chloe: I wanted to have a party for Marik's little friends!

Leah: You can do that in a later chapter!

Chloe: I don't want to go to the pool! You two know what happens.

Ollie: Oh get over it. We'll surive.

Marik: What happens when she goes to the pool?

Leah: Oh you'll see.

Marik: Is it a bad thing?

Chloe: Yes!

Leah: Not really. It's just annoying beyond all hell.

Marik: Will you tell me if I guess it right?

Leah: Sure. Doubt you will though.

Marik: She can't swim?

Ollie: Oh she can swim.

Marik: Is she self-conscious of her body? She really shouldn't be I mean it's-

Leah: It's SOMETHING like that. But not.

Marik: Does she have a flocks of fanboys following her?

Leah: You were closer with the other one.

Marik: Does she have flocks of fangirls following her?

Chloe: N-no Marik. Look, can we just drop it? Does everyone have a swim suit?

Ryo: Even though when you found me I was homeless I still have a swim suit!

Chloe: [beep]in wonderful. Let's blow this place.


	18. You mean a JobJob?

Chapter 18: You mean a Job-job?

(A/N: I hate author notes, So I'll make this one short. I got mad at 'The Resort of Minor Characters' chapter and since that'll be pretty long (like 3-5 chapter long) I'll just write it as it's own story. It won't have to do with this. I feel like Stephanie Meyer!)

Chloe: That was a great trip! Glad to be home though.

Ollie: Well now we have to get thinking. We're broke, we need jobs.

Leah: Damn it.

Chloe: To the classifieds!

(holds up newspaper)

Ollie: Oh look the local card game shop is hiring. Let's go see that!

Leah: Don't we need to look for other job opertunities.

Ollie: No, no. I'm sure they'll hire us. I mean this IS a Fanfic of course.

Chloe: Fine, fine I'll call.

(Chloe calls The game shop)

Yugi: Game Shop, We've got all your children's card games needs.

Chloe: Hello, I was looking at your add in the paper. You need three workers to start tomorrow?

Yugi: Yes, but you need to come over today.

Chloe: Oh we can do that.

Yugi: Okay what time can you make it over here?

Chloe: Let's go for the universal 3:00?

Yugi: Sounds great. Oh I didn't get your name?

Chloe: Oh. Chloe.

Yugi: Chloe, I met a girl named Chloe.

Chloe: Cool, bet there aren't a whole bunch of us in Japan. I'll see you at three.

(At the Game Shop Yugi Tachi is there. They appear incredibly bored. Tristan is going on about whatever Tristan goes on about)

Tristan: You know my favorite bible passage?

Joey: Sure, Tristan…

Tristan: Ezekiel 25:17 The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherded the weak through the valley of darkness.

(Enter Chloe, Leah, Ollie. Chloe starts to quote the bible passage.)

Chloe: And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!

Leah: Whoa… What was that about?

Chloe: I LOVE pulp fiction. I've been obsessed with it all week!

Ollie: You forgot when she wrote on Bakura with red ink where his heart is?

Leah: Oh right. She claimed he was ODing on Heroin he thought was Cocaine…

Yugi: Aren't those the girls from chapter 3 or 4?

Tea: I remember them from chapter 6.

Joey: Doesn't one of them work for Kaiba?

Ollie: I quit a week ago. We need money. You hiring?

Yami: Depends who's asking.

Chloe: You're balls just can't make up their mind can they?

Ollie: We're all asking.

Yami: Yeah, you three can work.

Joey: What happened to grandpa?

Yami: He died.

Grandpa (From the attic): I'm still alive! He just put me in the attic with some bread and water!

Yami: Sometimes I can almost hear his voice.

Ollie: So when do we start?

Yami: Next week.

Ollie: Pay us for this week and we'll start.

Yami: Deal.

Chloe: Cool! That gives us a whole chapter to do something completely irrelevant! TO THE IRRELEVANTCY!


	19. Who wants a hug?

Chapter 19: Who wants a hug?

(Every one is awake but Marik. Our awoken protagonists are sitting at the table doing things normal people do at tables. Enter Melvin)

Chloe: Marik, did you HAVE to steal my hairspray? I mean honestly! It's not like your hair needed it in the first place!

Melvin: Not quite.

Chloe: What happened to your voice? Are you feeling ok? Do you want to lay down?

Bakura: Melvin…

(Light saber fight ensues.)

Leah: Boys… Boys…

Ollie: BOYS!

(The light saber fight stops)

Bakura: Get out of here Melvin!

Melvin: No! I demand to challenge you to a children's card game, but not just a children's card game, a SHADOW children's card game- ON A BLIMP!

Chloe: A, blimp? Marik are you feeling alright?

Melvin: I feel fantastic! A blimp is nessicary for me to play a children's card game! But first, who wants a hug?

(The three girls look at teach other and Chloe steps forward.)

Chloe: Why not? Are you sure you're feeling ok Marik? Maybe you should lay down.

(Chloe walks over to Melvin)

Bakura: No! Chloe!

(Chloe hugs Melvin)

Chloe: Oh what Bakura? I can't hug my own boy

(Chloe gets stabbed in the arm)

Chloe: OH WHAT THE FUCK MARIK? JESUS CHRIST!

(Kicks Melvin in the groin, Melvin falls on the floor in agony)

Melvin: Oh you whore-biscuit!

Chloe: There goes your reproducing abilities dickweed.

Melvin: Owww!

Bakura: Ladies, this is not the Marik Ishtar we know.

Chloe: His last name is Ishtar?

Bakura: This is his imaginary childhood friend, Melvin.

Chloe: Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me.

(Melvin tries to stand up but Chloe kicks him in the crotch again)

Chloe: I'm going to go take care of my stab wound.

(Exit Chloe)

Leah: Hey, Chloe? Can we kick him too?

Chloe (shouting): Knock yourself out.

Bakura: Well, it may be Melvin's mind, but it's Marik's body still.

Ollie: So? Chloe's gone now!

(After a while of kicking Melvin, the Five of them are sitting on the couch. Melvin is holding an ice pack to his head)

Melvin: My Challenge still stands Bakura! Be sure to have that blimp!

Leah: Where the hell are we going to get a blimp?

Melvin: Kaiba had one in season 2.

Bakura: Yes but it blew up with the island at the end of season 3.

Chloe: So what? He could still have it.

Bakura: Oh yes, I'm sure he still has the blimp that exploded on an Island we were all trying to escape from. I'm also completely sure he would lend it to us to play a card game.

Ollie: I'm glad you see it our way.

(Calls Kaiba)

Ollie: Hello Mr. Kaiba, it's Olivia… n-no I was just wondering if you had a blimp we could use… oh really? Thanks Mr. Kaiba, oh… well it's your blimp, I suppose it's up to you if you want to come or not. Oh gee… Yay… well when can you have it ready? Ok today at the universal 3:00? Sounds great. Yes… Goodbye Mr. Kaiba…

Chloe: Oh, is HE coming?

Ollie: Sadly yes. He's also bringing his little brother.

Chloe: He has a brother?

Ollie: Yeah he's like 12 or something.

Chloe: Awww!

Leah: Does he look anything like his brother?

Ollie: Strangely, no.

Melvin: while you whore-biscuits prattle on-

Leah: What in gods name is a Whore-Biscuit?

Melvin: Well I-

Leah: I mean I can do it too! Slut Sandwich!

Ollie: Prostitute burger!

Chloe: Oh! With a side of skank fries!

Melvin: As I was saying, while you three go on about the Kaiba

Chloe: No! Wait just a second; I've been told to grab a blimp, and poor Bakura has to children card game with you. I want to know what the fuck is up with you.

Melvin: I am your worst nightmare created in the flesh!

Chloe: Uh huh, quite. Now would you mind explaining if you're in control of his body where is my boyfriend?

Leah: Yeah you shouldn't mess with my.. frie… frien… fri… Chloe's boyfriend!

Melvin: I am Melvin, the evil inside of Marik brought on by years of of physical abuse and Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Chloe: Oh dear god not that movie!

Leah: Oh it's not that bad.

Chloe: It drags the name "Chloe" through SUCH dirt! SUCH dirt! Anyways, isn't that like 3 people with alter-ego-imaginary friends? Does ALL of Japan suffer from D.I.D?

Leah: Wouldn't surprise me.

Chloe: Do we expect Rika to come out of nowhere? I mean SHE is the nightmare in my dreams.

Ollie: Or more than less Victoria?

Chloe: Ha, Rika makes Melvin look like child's play! You know what they say, hell hath no fury like a woman-

Melvin: ENOUGH! I AM IN CONTROL OF YOUR MIND!

Chloe: Doubt it, I know what mind control feels like.

Bakura: You do?

Ollie: Clearly you didn't grow up with the boy bands of the 90's.

Melvin: Yes, argue about boy bands that's exactly what I'm telling you to do!

Leah: Yeah… I don't think you're very good at mind control.

Melvin: I am the root of all evil! Whore Biscuit.

Chloe: You keep thinking that skank fries.


	20. That

Chapter 20: That.

(At the blimps Launch Site. Everyone is ready.)

Kaiba: Welcome to the the Kaiba-Blimp! It's-

Chloe: Aw, Is that your little brother? He doesn't look twelve.

Ollie: I said about twelve.

Mokuba: I'm 9!

Chloe: So that's your brother eh Kaiba?

Kaiba: Yes, this is Mokuba. Mokuba this is your future sister-in-law's friends.

Bakura: Future Sister in law?

Ollie: We aren't dating Kaiba… we never were.

Kaiba: Oh that's right, we're still off the record aren't we? Smart thinking.

Ollie: *sigh* Let's just get on the blimp so we can get Marik back.

Chloe: Yeah, I think I'm starting, contemplate, to begin, to missing him. (looks over at Mokuba) Have we met before?

Mokuba: I don't think so.

Kaiba: Shut up Mokuba.

(On the blimp, everyone, but Olivia is in their rooms unpacking. Ollie is talking to Mokuba in the hallway.)

Olivia: Hey, Mokuba, I don't know what you're brother has told you but I'm not-

Mokuba: I know, he gets this way with all the female Interns. We haven't hired a replacement for you yet so he's being extra clingy. I'm surprised most women quit after Seto lock them up.

Ollie: Kaythanks, shut up Mokuba.

(Exit Mokuba. Olivia enters her room to find Yugi asleep on her bed)

Ollie: Yugi? What the- Yugi wake up! What are you doing in here?

Yugi: (half asleep) Oh, me and my friends crash here every now and then for sleep over parties. What are you doing here?

Ollie: I'm not exactly sure, all I've got is Bakura and Marik isn't really Marik-

Yugi: Yeah, I don't really care. Is the blimp actually FLYING?

Ollie: Yes. Oh what it's not like you were going to do anything else anyways.

Yugi: Good Point. So you were saying something about-

(They begin leaving the room and we see Chloe chasing after Tristan down the hallway)

Tristan: AHHH! I didn't mean to spy on you naked! I just wanted to look!

(Chloe Bumps into Olivia and looks at Yugi)

Chloe: Oh god. Are they ALL on this blimp?

Yugi: Yeah were are.

(Bakura's room door opens)

Bakura: Out, Out, Out! You are not allowed to be in this room! Only beautiful, extraordinary, intelligent women, like Leah, whom may I state I have never had angry sex with, are allowed in this room!

Téa: Fine! Have your damn Mary-Sue! I didn't want you anyways. Limey Bastard.

(Leah grabs Joey by his arm and pulls him to the ground)

Joey: Ow what's the big idea?

Leah: What are you doing in my room?

Bakura: Leah, let me handle this… What ARE you doing in her room?

Joey: What is she doing in the room I stole?

Leah: Trying to unpack.

Ollie: So let me get this straight… you four think the smartest thing on earth was to sleep on Kaiba's blimp?

Yugi: Pretty Much.

Ollie: Ugh, I'm going to go unpack, get you're sexy alter ego. He can do more than your puny self.

Yugi: Aww! Pharaoh gets all the fun…

(Exit Yugi and Ollie to their room on the blimp)

Bakura: Leah, do you have a moment?

Leah: Oh uhh sure?

(They enter Bakura's room, Chloe is just left standing there I guess. Well I suppose she does whatever Chloes go and do.)

Bakura: Yes… uhh…

Leah: So, what was it you wanted to talk about?

Bakura: uhhh… us… sorta.

Leah: Oh that's real descriptive, what about us?

Bakura: Umm us… romantically.

Leah: Oh… that.

Bakura: Yes… that.

Leah: what about… that?

Bakura: I was wondering what you felt about… that.

Leah: umm… are you asking for us to become a… that?

Bakura: It all depends on how you feel about… that.

Leah: It depends on what your asking…

Bakura: Well maybe, I'm too shy to flat out ask it!

Leah: Well maybe, I'm too shy to give a direct response!

Bakura: Well maybe I need a direct response to ask the question!

Leah: Well maybe you need to flat out ask it before I give a direct response!

Bakura: I can't believe you're this difficult!

Leah: Well I can't believe-

Bakura: Oh, just shut up!

(Leah and Bakura kiss and Romanic Music beings to play and everything is all "lovey dovey", the music stops and life goes back to normal.)

Leah: Don't tell me to shut up, boyfriend!

(She Pushes Bakura back on his bed and well… the obvious takes place…)


	21. A SHADOW children's card game!

Chapter 21: A SHADOW children's card game.

(The next morning Leah and Bakura are asleep in Bakura's bed. Olivia is standing over them)

Ollie: Rise and shine sleepy heads, although I don't think you two got a lot of "sleep" per say.

Leah: (half asleep) Five more minutes…

(Leah grabs the bed covers and throws them over herself, which leaves Bakura without any so he steals them back, Leah then steals them again and kicks Bakura in the side. This goes on for a little while. Ollie then grabs the covers from them both and pulls them off.)

Ollie: Oh sorry, did I stutter? WAKE UP.

Leah: Huh? Wha- Ollie? Wait… GET OUT!

Ollie: Oh come on, like it wasn't obvious enough you two wanted each other.

Leah: Shutupshutupshutup! Don't speak of this to anyone ok?

Ollie: Why not?

Leah: Because I said so!

Ollie: Fine, fine, fine. I'll be nice… in public.

(Exit Ollie)

Bakura: (Half asleep with his face in the pillow): Who was that?

Leah: Olivia, she figured it out.

Bakura: Oh bugger…

(later that day, Chloe and Bakura are sitting in the blimp's card game arena, they are ready to play/watch a children's card game. The others are getting ready to watch/play a children's card game.)

Chloe: Bakura… I'm bored. Make something happen.

Bakura: I don't have that power, complain to the author.

Chloe: Bakura… Complain to the author for me!

Bakura: How the hell do you expect me to do that when I don't even know who the author is?

Chloe: Well since the author is basically god in our eyes… I HAVE AN IDEA! Just go on your knees and beg for a plotline or something.

Bakura: And look like a total wanker?

Chloe: Better you than me!

Bakura: No, thanks.

(Enter everyone else.)

Chloe: So, Bakura before we get started with this shit. Explain to me how this works?

Bakura: Well each card has attack and defense points…

Chloe: No! Not the card game for god sakes! The bet!

Bakura: Yes, if I win, Melvin will go away and give Marik his body back, but if he wins, he gets to say and I will go to the shadow relm.

Leah: What's the shadow realm? Do you.. die?

Bakura: Well since 4kids censors all-

Kaiba: Enough, go and duel! Summon a god card while you're at it!

Melvin: Don't you worry Kaiba, there will be god cards galore and when I say that I mean only MEGA ULTRA CHICKEN!

Kaiba: YES!

Chloe: No, just shut up a moment. Explain this whole "shadow realm" concept. DO you die?

Bakura: Not exactly it has to do with American censorship…

(A whole explanation later)

Chloe: Why can't you just… die?

Bakura: 4kids wouldn't allow it.

Chloe: Ahh my good sir, this is a Fanfic. So you could die.

Bakura: No, I couldn't.

Chloe: Why not?

Leah: BECAUSE HE CAN'T!

Melvin: Come on binky boy let's get this card game going!

Ollie: Binky boy?

(3500 life points later)

Melvin: Hahaha! I'll have you finished! How did you expect to defeat the great Melvin?

Bakura: Easily, I summon Obelisk the Tormentor.

Melvin: You summon "what" now?

Bakura: Obelisk, Strike!

(TOOOOOOOOOOOORMENT!)

Melvin: No! And I was so close! How did you get that!

Bakura: I stole it from Olivia's room!

Ollie: I stole it from Kaiba's Office! …Wait why were you in my room?

Kaiba: And I never gave it back to Ishizu.

(Enter Ishizu out of literally nowhere.)

Ishizu: I got it from Pegasus.

(Exit Ishizu in to literally nowhere)

Melvin: Ahhh! No… Marik… don't!

Chloe: That's what she said!

Bakura: Technically, isn't that what YOU said?

Chloe: Duh, I just said it!

(Marik comes back, Chloe glomps him.)

Chloe: Oh Marik! I thought it would take another chapter or two to get you back!

Marik: What am I doing back on Kaiba's blimp? Why are all those douche bags over there?

(Screen to Yugi and his friends waiving like idiots)

Bakura: Melvin got control again, you really need to learn to control that. You owe me one.

(Exit Bakura in pimp fashion. Later that day)

Kaiba: So Olivia, that was some duel huh?

Ollie: Uh yeah, sure Mr. Kaiba.

Kaiba: I would rather see you dueling up there with my blue eyes.

Ollie: Ahh, gee Mr. Kaiba. No… maybe another time.

Kaiba: Well everybody, we have one more night on the blimp, the we land back in Domino City.

Leah: (sarcastically) Yay, another night with Kaiba. I can hardly contain my joy.

Kaiba: So Olivia… want to see my special-private-I-have-a-lot-of-money room?

Ollie: Gee Mr. Kaiba… No. I would rather shove bamboo under my fingers. Besides, I'm dating… Yami.

Yami: (Puts his hand around Olivia): Yeah, sucks to be you, orphan.

Ollie: (Turning a new shade of red) Y-y-yes dating Yami…

Kaiba: Ah… I see. Well, maybe another time.

(Exit Kaiba)

Chloe: Well he took that well.

Yami: I didn't know we were dating…

Ollie: Oh only to get Kaiba away from me.

Yami: Call it what you want. I got a girlfriend! Who likes card games almost as much as me!

Chloe: You know, this whole "Card gaming to save the world" is just plain stupid.

(Everyone stares at Chloe with awe that she doesn't have appreciation for children's card games.)

Chloe: What?


	22. Paint with all the colors of the wind

Chapter 22: Paint with all the colors of the wind!

Yami: You don't like card games? W-w-why?

Chloe: I'm sorry… It's just too complex for me. I'll stick to my Smurfs on the moon. That's so much less confusing.

Marik: WHO ARE YOU? I thought I knew you!

Chloe: Dude, relax it's just a card game…

Bakura: JUST A CARD GAME?

Joey: You'll get off this blimp, if you know what's good for you. You don't want to see my rage… it comes from Brooklyn… like my accent!

Leah: Guys, guys, it's ok. She's retarded in the ways of card games.

Chloe: Oh come on!

Leah: Do you WANT me to let these boys eat you alive?

Chloe: Noo…

Leah: Then let me explain. We come from America. Most Americans aren't aware of the complexities of children's card games. As for Olivia and I, we understand that it's a delicate balance of talent and skill-

Tristan: She's American? But she isn't white!

Téa: Not everyone in America is white, Tristan!

Yami: I thought she was from Egypt like all the other tan people.

Chloe: Close, but… no, not even close. I'm Indian.

Joey: So you ARE Pocahontas! Tristan you owe me five bucks!

Tristan: Sing!

Chloe: No.

Bakura: JUST A CARD GAME?

Leah: We're kinda past this now… We're more interested in proving Chloe isn't Pocahontas. Okay?

Bakura: Chloe can't be Pocahontas because she can't sing worth shit!

Chloe: Exactly! Wait what?

Tristan: What ever you want to say, Pocahontas!

Ollie: Ugh, this better than dealing with Kaiba's Ego…

(Enter Kaiba)

Kaiba: Olivia did you say you wanted to wrap your thighs around my waist while naked in my room?

Ollie: I said NOTHING like that. AT ALL.

Kaiba: Oh, guess I should lay off the pot. Do you want some?

Ollie: No, Kaiba…

Yami: Hey, is this orphan messing with you?

Kaiba: What are you going to do about it? Children card game with me?

Leah: KICK HIS ASS!

Bakura: I wish, but 4kids would never allow it.

Chloe: Ahhhhh That's where you are wrong AGAIN Mr. Bakura!

Bakura: Mr. Bakura?

Chloe: This is a fanfic! Yami could kick Kaiba's ass if he wanted to. As long as the author says he can!

(Screen to god-author up in god-author heaven)

Author: It's fine with me, someone needs to kick Kaiba's ass,

(Screen back to the blimp)

Chloe: So, Yami go for it!

(Yami walks up to Kaiba, and punches him in the face, causing Kaiba to fall to the floor, unconscious, with blood coming out of his nose.)

Yami: That's what you get for messing with the girl pretending to me my girlfriend!

Ollie: Did you… Did you kill him?

Yami: I don't think so…

Leah: God, I hope so.

Marik: N-n-no he still looks like he's breathing. Do you want me to stab him?

Chloe: Alright! I hate to be the one to say this but, let's not kill Kaiba,

Bakura: Why not?

Chloe: Cause the author already wrote him in the sequel, it would be hard to explain how he came back to life after Yami punched him and Marik stabbed him dead.

Bakura: Fine…

Yami: What do you want us to do his unconscious body?

(Chloe breaks out sharpie markers)

Chloe: Oh, just what any sensible person would do!

Leah: Let's go Jiggly puff on this mofo!

(When Kaiba wakes up he has a uni-brow, french mustache, goatee, on he forehead "Bakura was here" is written, but the Bakura is crossed out and replaced with "Marik" which is in turn crossed out and replaced by "Chloe" with "Biyotch" following after the word "Here". Enter the Kaiba Nazis)

Hans: Mein Fuhrer, we need you permission to be landing ze blimp now.

Gruber: Mein Fuhrer, what is that all over your face?

Kaiba: Huh? What? Must have drank too much again. Go ahead and land the blimp.

(Everyone, except Kaiba and his Nazis, are sitting in Bakura's room, laughing about what they did to Kaiba. )

Ollie: We are SO much more mature than 12 year olds.

Yugi: You're telling me. So about us dating…

Ollie: Whoa Whoa Whoa, I said I was dating YAMI the world renowned duelist. Not some petty 9 year old who hasn't hit puberty yet.

Yugi: Oh, well.

Leah: Beat it looser, we'll see you at work.

Yugi: If you're all 16 why are you working instead of going to school?

Chloe: Like you should be asking that.

Yugi: I'm a professional duelist. I don't need to go to school.

Ollie: You mean Yami, is a professional duelist. You just happened to be the medium.

Yugi: Well, still I do show up for school every now and then.

Ollie: Well, I applied for a summer internship that went awry, since I have no money to get back to America. We're kinda stuck here.

Chloe: (Sigh) it was either come to Japan for the summer, and when I say the summer I mean until I get tired of living out here, or go to Private School. Since I hate rich assholes like Kaiba, I choose the trip to Japan.

Leah: I hate being alone, so I tagged along.

Bakura: Oh, such a good story Leah.

Leah: Oh, shut up kitty. It's not like you'd be better off without me.

Bakura: (Growls under his breath) not a kitty.

Marik: Yes kitty, purr! Purr for the great Marik Sebastian Ishtar III!

Gruber: (over the intercom) We are now preparing to land ze blimp now. Heil Kaiba!

Chloe: FINALLY! It took 4 chapters for us to play a children's card game on a blimp!

Bakura: Yes, it's almost like we had a plotline for a little while.

Ollie: Plot? HA! What plot?


	23. Vengeance Flavored Soup

Chapter 23: Vengeance Flavored Soup

(getting off the blimp. In the blimp landing site.)

Ollie: Hey yugi, ...c-c-could I talk to yami for a minute. Alone. In private. Away from everyone?

Yugi: *Sigh* Yes, I'll get him.

(Transformation sequence)

Yami: Yes? What was it? I was very busy in yugi's mind not knowing who I was.

Ollie: Well... umm, I just wanted to tell you, uh... That was ummm pretty cool how you knocked Kaiba out... and I just wanted to know if you wanted to TRY to go on a date with me again? Praying Kaiba doesn't cockblock again.

Yami: Sure. I'd love to go out with my girlfriend again!

Ollie: I wasn't your girlfriend at first... I'm only suggesting we date now.

Yami: Whatever you say... girlfriend!

Ollie: *Sigh* It's better than dealing with Kaiba...

(Back home with just the people who live there. Sitting on the couch.)

Chloe: I'm BORED!

Bakura: Well that sounds like a personal problem.

Leah: What do you want us to do about it?

Chloe: Fix it. Make something fun happen. It's always boning the day after you get back from somewhere fun.

Marik: That's true. I command the fun to commence!

(Olivia stands up from the couch and stands over Chloe)

Ollie: You call being forced on a blimp by Marik's imaginary friend, having to deal with Kaiba for 4 chapters in a row, AND all of Yugi's friends, AND having to sit through ALL of Marik's Imaginary friend's bullshit FUN? Ugh, I'm getting out of this house and away from all you freaks. I'll go jump off a cliff or something. Be back tomorrow.

(Exit Olivia)

Chloe: That was the best time I've had since I got out here.

Bakura: You need serious help.

Chloe: Yeah, but the shrink didn't know how to fix me.

Bakura: Moving on. What "Fun" things can we do to make sure Chloe doesn't die of boredom?

Chloe: Why don't you boys have your little friends over?

Marik: It's the evil council of doom!

Chloe: Aww what a cute name for a club!

Marik: It's not "Cute" It's incredibly EVIL! Mwah ha ha!

Leah: You aren't even close to evil! Neither of you are! I know bunnies more evil than you two.

Chloe: Well anyways, how about this? You call up your little club thingy and me and Leah will bake cookies!

Leah: We will?

Chloe: Damn Skippy we will!

(Later that day.)

Leah: (sing songy) They're dooone!

Chloe: Who wants the first one?

Pegasus: Ooooooh I do! (Grabs cookie and eats it) Mmmmmmm. These cookies are simply fabulous!

Chloe: Glad you like them!

Teddy: You will suffer eternity in the 6 circle of hell if these cookies aren't chocolate chip.

Leah: Well lucky for our... souls? They are.

Teddy: You live... for now.

Leah: Okay then, who else wants cookies?

Zorc: I would but it would go straight to my thighs.

Chloe: Aww that's too bad. Would you like anything else?

Zorc: Can you make Vengeance Flavored Soup?

Chloe: Sure I can.

Marik: YOU can make vengeance flavored soup?

Chloe: Yeah, my mom made it for me when I was little.

Bakura: What does vengeance even physically taste like?

Chloe: ... strawberries.

Marik: I command you to make us all vengeance flavored soup, please.

Leah: You are so lucky you put that "Please" there.

Bakura: So let's get on to the council meeting.

Marik: Yes! How do we defeat that Yugi Moto?

Zombie boy: Brains , Brains, Brains (How about we push him off a boat?)

Marik: No you fool! I already tried that!

Bakura: Well how about we ask Chloe and Leah? Being as their friend is now dating the pharaoh...

Marik: What? Olivia is dating him now? Wasn't she captured in a dungeon hating his guts during the last council meeting?

Bakura: Yes, but that was 15 chapters ago. Things change, Marik.

Marik: Never mind that! We will NOT ask the girls! We as REAL MEN are capable of doing it ourselves.

(Snickers throughout the house)

Marik: What? What did I say?

Leah: REAL MEN? If it weren't for us, Bakura would still be living on the street. YOU would still be an awkward virgin. Now you're just awkward. Look, if you wanted to defeat Yugi, for whatever reason. You should probably talk to Olivia about him. Since she dates him she probably knows a lot about him. Weaknesses, things like that.

Chloe: And if you wanted to be SUPER creepy. You could spy on them on their dates. That way you would know first hand everything about them.

Bakura: How do you know all this stuff?

Leah: Like we haven't had enemies before?

Chloe: Yeah, we need to know how to break people down.

Bakura: Please, Marik, put your pride aside for just a second. Let them join our council…

Marik: No! This is a boy's club!

Bakura: I thought you said, it was a council, not a club,

Marik: Silence! We're breaking enough rules by letting Pegasus join!

Pegasus: What an utterly unfabulous thing to say.

Marik: Silence! All of you.

Chloe: Soups ready!

Marik: Shut up!

Chloe: Boy… I don't know WHO you think you're talking to. I WILL NOT BE SILCENED!

Marik: YOU WILL IF I COMMAND IT OF YOU!

Chloe: Fine! Make your own damn soup!

(Throws bowl of hot soup on Marik. Marik Cries in pain.)

Chloe: Anyone else want soup?

Zorc: Oh that sounds lovely.

Pegasus: Ooooooh, anything you make is bound to be good.

Chloe: Aww well, shucks.


	24. It all ties together

Chapter 24: It all ties together.

(A/N: I'll warn you all before hand. This chapter contains major spoilers to the whole Yu-Gi-Oh series. I take it most of you have watched it. If you don't want to read it, Basically Bakura and Marik explain the entire "Egypt" plotline of Yu-Gi-Oh and Ollie, Leah and Chloe put in their insight. Next chapter will be the last one. Maybe I'll post one more but, I'm not sure. Please read the Sequel, we're going to be- IN AMERICA!)

(Marik is waiting outside the bathroom, in the main hallway where Leah has been taking a shower for a good 2 hours now. Leah exits the bathroom)

Marik: Are you done yet?

Leah: Don't rush me! I'll just take longer!

Marik: Remind me why the [EFF] can't I use the master bathroom, again?

Leah: Olivia said that she didn't want you to dirty it up with your Marik cooties.

Leah: Alright it's all yours. God.

(Marik enters the bathroom and Leah walks out to the living room where Bakura and Chloe are drinking tea on the couch, and Ollie is half asleep in a chair.)

Chloe: You did that just for the sole purpose to piss Marik off didn't you?

Leah: Yep!

Ollie: Good one.

(We hear Marik scream from the bathroom, he runs out to the living room in a towel)

Marik: YOU USED ALL THE [EFF]ING HOT WATER!

Leah: Oops, did I do that again?

Chloe: It's ok dear, just wait till the water warms up.

(Marik turns around to walk away and reveal the scars on his back. Chloe, spits out her tea, Leah, and Ollie just stare with eyes wide open)

Chloe: JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE *Beep* THAT ON YOUR BACK?

Marik: Huh? Oh, that… Did I forget to put a shirt on?

Bakura: Chloe, You've been sleeping with Marik for how long now, and you haven't seen his back yet?

Chloe (Still in amazement): N-n-n-noooo. He's always told me to leave his shirt on. I mean I asked once and he was all like (Mimics him) I don't want to talk about it. But… I didn't expect anything like that. What the hell is it?

Marik: It's a burned carving in my skin I had done against my will when I was a child. Can I go put some clothes on? I'll explain more when I get back.

Chloe: Who DID THIS TO YOU?

Leah: What does it mean?

Ollie: Can I touch it?

Marik: My dad did it. And, NO YOU CANNOT TOUCH IT!

Ollie: Awww why not?

Chloe: W-why would ANYONE do THAT to ANYONE EVER?

Leah: What does it mean?

Bakura: Well, it has to do with who you girls consider Yami, in fact his real name isn't even Yami.

Ollie: Then what's his name?

Bakura: Atem.

Chloe: Well that's hardly Japanese.

Bakura: That's because he was an Egyptian Pharaoh in a previous life.

Ollie: Oh he just said that to sound cool. I bet you're as Egyptian as he is. Previous life or not!

Bakura: Well as a matter of fact….

Chloe: Bullshit. Just. Just bullshit. Stop messing with us boys. Now really, what in god's name is up with your back?

Marik: Bakura, for once, is right.

Leah: Ok, just for a second let's say that this is all true. How the hell do you know about this?

Bakura: Well you see, years ago in Ancient Egypt when I was a child, my village was destroyed and, I was the sole survivor.

Leah: Awww.

(Leah, sits down next to Bakura and hugs him)

Bakura: Yes, it was rather tragic. Atem's father was the man who set the orders to kill everyone. So I decided to unleash the greatest evil in the world to destroy Atem and everyone he loved.

Chloe: Sounds fair, but why not just destroy Yami's father?

Bakura: Because he was already dead.

Ollie: I don't see how this is Yami's fault.

Bakura: Well It's because of his father. Anyways, Atem defeated the evil and knew he would be needed to fight the evil again so he locked himself inside the Millennium puzzle, and sent all the other Millennium Items underground and trusted one family with them.

Leah: What are Millennium Items?

Bakura: (Sigh) They are mystical Items created from my village.

Marik: Which are deemed evil because they are from your village, liars, robbers, gamblers, thieves.

Leah: So? Evil or not that was an entire village of people! That's just sick!

(Bakura looks at Leah in surprise)

Bakura: That's what I've been trying to tell people for years! I digress. Some of these Items hold spirits. Like this here, the Millennium Ring holds my spirit, and Yugi's Millennium Puzzle hold's the Pharaoh's.

Ollie: Sure it does, anyways back to how this has anything to do with Marik's fucked up back.

Marik: Hey!

Bakura: So, Marik over here's family was sent to Guard the tomb until the Pharaoh returned, they weren't allowed outside contact ever. They also had to bear the Pharaoh's Memories on their back.

Marik: So I've been living underground for almost 16 years of my life, with this symbol of servitude on my back.

Ollie: That explains everything.

Marik: Everything of what?

Ollie: Oh, never mind, keep going on with what you were saying.

Marik: A Ghost killed my father so I vowed my whole life to kill the Pharaoh.

Leah: Why?

Marik: Because… the ghost was a loyalist to the Pharaoh.

Chloe: Marik, I love you and all and whatever you're doing in life is whatever you're doing in live but that, that's just stupid.

Ollie: Exactly. How is that in any way's the Pharaoh's fault? I mean, shouldn't you be happy the man who abused you is dead?

Marik: Well yes, but-

Chloe: So all this, besides Marik's minor portion happened say, 3,000 years ago.

Bakura: Well depending on what you're watching 5,000.

Ollie: Well this is all just retarded. (Mocking them) Hey let's go kill Yami because he was the one who DIDN'T screw up my life!

Marik: If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have had to gone though any of my things!

Chloe: If it wasn't for him according to the story, some big evil thing would have kill all of Egypt and taken over the world. So (Sticks her tongue out at Marik in a childish fashion.)

Leah: I'm actually curious to why if this was all happening in Ancient Egypt, why there aren't any books about it.

Chloe: You know Leah, that may be the smartest thing that has happened in this chapter.

Marik: Can I put a shirt on?

Chloe: Yes, but first, answer me this question. Why are you so bothered by your back? Okay wait that was a stupid question. Here how about, Marik, you shouldn't be ashamed of your body. I'm used to scars on people's back. I was more surprised because I wasn't expecting it. I mean, my sister has a scar like that on her back.

Marik: She does?

Chloe: Well, it's not as elaborate as that, but yeah she's got one going right down the middle of her back from spinal surgery last year. Jeeze Marik, you need to learn to trust me more.

Leah: Yeah, there really isn't a lot Chloe hasn't seen, or done, or watched.

Chloe: No, I've never been to Paris. (Sigh)


	25. Waterhand

Chapter 25: Through extensive research I concluded this chapter to be called: Water-Hand

(Chloe, Marik, Leah, Olivia, and Kaiba are passed out in random areas of the house, which may I add, is a wreck. Bakura is the first awake, for once. He is making his way over to a Tripod holding a camera. Exit Bakura into the bathroom. Chloe wakes up she was asleep on the hardwood floor.)

Chloe: ohhhh… My head… what did I do last night?

(Chloe, gets up and downs a pot of cold coffee.)

Chloe: Okay, I'm better. Where are the others? Hmmm.

(Looks outside on the patio and sees Ollie asleep on Kaiba's shoulder.)

Chloe: Uhhhh. Ew. I'll bother them later. Where's Leah?

(Chloe finds Leah is in Bakura's bed asleep.)

Chloe: Leah, Leah. Wake up. Ollie is asleep on Kaiba's shoulder.

(Leah, is half asleep with a hangover.)

Leah: Why is Kaiba here?

Chloe: I don't know! Leah, where's are video camera when we need it?

Leah: Bakura had it last…

Chloe: Did he?

Leah: I… I don't remember. Don't ask me things after I drank as much as I did last night.

Chloe: I couldn't even remember we drank… Why are you in Bakura's bed?

Leah: Am I? I don't remember going there…

Chloe: Well you're there now.

Leah: Is anyone else awake?

Chloe: You, me… I hear running water so I think Bakura is too.

(Enter Bakura in his room, he shuts the door and takes off the towel. He turns around to see Chloe and Leah there.)

Chloe: OH GOD MY EYES! IT BURNS WITH THE WHITE HOT INTENSITIY OF A THOUSAND SUNS! I'M BLIND!

(Chloe covers her eyes and runs out the room, waking Marik. She falls down on her way out and wallows in pain.)

Bakura: WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?

Leah: THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW!

(Bakura grabs the blanket to cover himself.)

Leah: Oh come on! It's not like I haven't seen you naked before.

Bakura: That was under different circumstances.

Leah: Whatever. Why the hell am I here?

(Bakura get a creepy smile.)

Bakura: All in good time Leah, all in good time.

Leah: Yeah… that's a bit creepy. Especially with you naked right there. Well, I'm going to go then if you aren't going to answer me. Chloe said that Olivia fell asleep on Kaiba's shoulder. I should probably make sure you didn't permanently damage Chloe either.

(Leah exit's Bakura's room. Chloe is on the couch; Marik is holding her as she cries.)

Chloe: IT WAS SO HORRIBLE!

(Marik is Hung-over as well)

Marik: It's ok.

Chloe: NO IT ISN'T!

(Leah walks outside to see Olivia on Kaiba's shoulder. Leah shakes Ollie awake. She has a burnt up joint in her hand.)

Leah: Ollie, wake up. You have no idea where that's been, and I don't mean the pot.

Ollie: Me? Pot? I doubt it… wait… (Looks over to see sleeping Kaiba)

Ollie: Me? Pot? I doubt it… wait… (Looks over to see sleeping Kaiba) !

(Miraculously Kaiba stays asleep.)

Leah: Told you.

Ollie: How? I mean what did we do last night? I don't remember inviting Kaiba over! Why would I do that for? It's Kaiba!

(Ollie starts really freaking out. Leah slaps her.)

Leah: Bakura implied he knew SOMETHING about all of this.

Ollie: Implied is good enough for me. Let's go find out. Or kick his ass. Which ever I feel like.

(Bakura is sitting on the couch. Chloe is still Traumatized by Bakura's…. nakedness.)

Bakura: Oh it was not that bad!

Ollie: BAKURA! What happened last night?

Bakura: I'm so glad you asked.

(Bakura pulls out a videotape)

Marik: What… what's on that video?

Bakura: Last night. Luckily I stayed sober. You four should know that once you get past how annoying you all are drunk, you're quite hilarious.

Chloe: Oh Joy! Put the damn tape in.

(Bakura puts it into the VCR, that's right, a VCR. We see the footage that is on the camera. Bakura is holding the Camera and Chloe is dancing on the lamp pole to Queen's: Killer Queen.)

Bakura: Smile for the camera.

Chloe: Oh, I'm going to HATE myself when I wake up. I just know it! Oh well, I really stopped caring.

(Chloe Smiles)

Bakura: That's a good girl. Let's go see what our friend Leah is doing.

(Leah is standing on a chair.)

Leah: I LOVE EVERYONE! B-b-b-Bakura. I LOVE you the most. You are SO right about EVERYTHING.

Bakura: Yes, I know am.

Leah: Okay, I just wanted to let you know that.

Bakura: That's good. You should come down from that chair you could hurt yourself.

Leah: NO! I AM PERFECTLY FINE! GO, Go bug your boyfriend, I love you.

Bakura: Alright. Let's go see what Marik is up to. Oh look Olivia is here too.

(Olivia is crying, Chloe is consoling her. Marik is sitting on the couch his arms folded like he is mad.)

Ollie: NO ONE WANTS ME!

Chloe: That's not true… Kaiba wants you.

Ollie: Waaaah!

Chloe: y-y-yami likes you too! You're pretty!

Ollie: Y-you're pretty to…

Marik: Are you hitting on my girlfriend?

Ollie: I don't think-

(Marik gets up in her face, and shakes his head side to side as he screams)

Marik: AAAAHHHHHAAAARGH!

Ollie: I wasn't hitting on Chloe!

(Ollie pushes Marik down)

Marik: You wanna fight do ya?

Bakura: Marik, I doubt you'll win that.

Marik: Oh YOU want to start with me.

Bakura: Marik… I wouldn't go there.

Chloe: Ya, know bah-koo-rah you're kinda cute. Kinda... ehh not so much now that I REALLY look at you.

Bakura: What?

Marik: Are you hitting on my girlfriend.

Bakura: Nooo, you can have her.

Chloe: He SO wants me. Did you hear his voice?

Bakura: No, that's fine thanks.

Marik: AAAAHHHHHAAAARGH!

(Marik stands up and moves his hands in a fighting stance.)

Bakura: Maybe you should lay down, or throw up. Throwing up usually helps.

Marik: NO! I COMMAND YOU TO FIGHT ME MINDSLAVE!

Bakura: I'm not your mindslave!

Marik: SILENCE!

Chloe: KICK HIS ASS, MARIK!

Bakura: Ugh…

(Marik attempts to throw a punch at Bakura. Marik misses.)

Marik: I missed…

(Bakura Punches Marik in the face, he falls down and cries in pain.)

Marik: Ow…

Chloe: You should be ASHAMED!

Bakura: Oh yes, poor Marik. It's not like he hasn't had it coming since I met him.

Ollie: Poor Marik!

Leah (from the other room): Friend? YOU HURT MY FRIEND?

Bakura: When did you start to consider Marik your friend?

Leah: He's like my BEST FRIEND!

Marik: Ow…

Ollie: I know just the person to fix this!

(Calls Kaiba)

Ollie: Hello… Kaiba! I need you to come over.

Kaiba: Did you say something about wanting me?

Chloe: Wow, you got here fast.

Kaiba: I have too much money to be late.

Leah: I wish I had money…

Kaiba: So who wants pot?

Ollie: I do!

Bakura: Olivia, I thought you didn't smoke marijuana.

Ollie: Says who?

Bakura: You're absolutely right Olivia. Have all the pot you want.

Marik: AAAAHHHHHAAAARGH!

Bakura: NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

Marik: It was a preemptive AAAAHHHHHAAAARGH!

Chloe: You tell him! Hitting on me! He should be even MORE ashamed.

Kaiba: So Olivia, wanna come out back with me?

Ollie: Sure! Being wasted makes it possible to stand you!

(Exit Olivia and Kaiba, Bakura faces the Camera to himself.)

Bakura: This is how you blokes act when you are drunk. I hope you are fully embaressed.

(The camera footage stops.)

Leah: …Wow.

(Leah bursts into laughter)

Leah: Did you see you guys! AAAAHHHHHAAAARGH! I mean really!

Chloe: Oh my… I don't know what to say.

Leah: How about AAAAHHHHHAAAARGH!

Ollie: What should we do with Kaiba?

Marik: Let's just throw him in a red wagon and push him down the hill.

Bakura: That's… That's actually a good Idea.

Ollie: Hung-over Marik is the best Marik.

(At the top of the street, Kaiba is still passed out and they throw him down the hill.)

Bakura: Someone will find him eventually.

Marik: Or not.

Ollie: Preferable not.

Leah: That was a lot easier than it sounded.

Chloe: Yeah, what do you want to do now?

Ollie: Let's go have breakfast.

The end.

(A/N: On June 18, 2010 this story will be on the Internet for 2 months exactly. I originally wanted to post the final chapter on that date, but I was going to be in a car, going to Disneyland! *That's right!* So I got off my lazy ass and finished it today June 16, 2010. I won't be able to write again until June 21st or 22nd. Whichever. But please read the sequel if you haven't. It'll be just as awesome as this promise! Thanks for all the reviews, and support. Without you guys I probably would have stopped writing this a month ago. God Bless us, everyone. And remember… IN ANOTHER FEW HOURS THE SUN WILL RISE!)


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